So...about those new stories I've been hinting about

I finished the rough draft of one of them today. It's the darkly humorous story, the one I've been extra-mysterious about because I think it's an original idea and I don't want anybody stealing it from me. ;-) It's also very short, just about 1800 words at the moment, although of course it still needs more editing.

If I follow my usual timetable, I'll have it ready for publication either in next week's EMCSA update or the one after that. Let's just go ahead and assume it'll be the one after that, so I don't put any undue pressure on myself....but you never know. It could be next weekend!

Way too awesome not to share

I hadn't planned on blogging today, but how on earth was I supposed to keep the Little Rooster to myself?

via via

spotlighting another classic

I remember when Star Trek: The Next Generation was still on the air. I used to watch it from time to time, but somehow I missed the two-parter where Captain Picard was assimilated by the Borg and used as a weapon against his own people. I don't remember why I missed it: I just reading reviews of the episodes and kicking myself for losing out on the awesomeness.

Eventually I got to see the episodes in syndication, and they were everything I'd hoped for...in short bursts, anyway. I wanted to see less Picard-as-Picard and more Picard-as-Locutus. Or better yet, more of Picard's transformation into Locutus. Even after all this time, I have a distinct memory of him lying motionless and blank-eyed while alien technology sucks all the free will from him brain and his face pales slowly from human flesh to Borg gray. I've just spent some over on YouTube trying to find that scene, and I finally came up with it - jammed in with nearly ten minutes of trance music and a bunch of repetitive space battles.

On the other hand, I found another, shorter video that a) has everything but the face-paling bit and b) must have been created by someone who appreciates the same stuff you and I do. S/he has edited the clips in a way that makes for a perfect EMC story: First we see Picard's hubris in defying the Borg, then his capture and assimilation, his revelation to his horrified former comrades, a bit of space battling, and finally a slightly ambiguous conclusion (Okay, it could have been more ambiguous, but the editor seems to be more of a Star Trek fan than an MC fan, so the Borg Cube had to be destroyed).

So here's what I recommend. Watch the video below first. This is the short, good clip without the trance music. Then click over to YouTube for the longer video, but only watch seconds 0:32-0:37. You can even turn the sound off if you like. I don't recommend watching the full 9+ minutes unless you're really bored or under the influence.

Enjoy!

Musings on boobs

I just found this astonishing ad on io9 and felt like I had to share. Too bad the video won't embed, but trust me: it's worth your time to click on over and have a look.

Technically, this is an infomercial for the latest variation on the old "magic bra" formula. I don't speak Chinese, but I'm pretty sure the ad promises to grow your boobs to at least twice their usual size. But wait - there's more! The sound effects are hilarious, the models' pre-enhancement pouts are adorable in a sad-kitten sort of way, and that woman in the violet dress just can't seem to stop feeling everyone up.

As for the product, I'm extremely dubious, but I give the designers credit for making it sexy enough that you'd want to wear it even if it didn't grow your boobs...which it almost certainly wouldn't.

Watching this video made me think about my own quest to find the perfect bra. I'm sure at least half of you out there will relate. You and I both know you can't just go into a store with a lingerie department, grab something in your size, and buy it. No, you have to try it on, adjust this and that, try your blouse on over it, and finally toss it in a corner of the dressing room and go look for something else because this one just won't work no matter what you do with it. Then you do it all again until you find something that actually works on your body. Then, good luck finding more than one of it in your size - or finding one again the next time you need to buy a bra. It's a conspiracy, I tell you.

My own boob-related challenge isn't the sad-Chinese-kitten problem, but rather the Queen-Latifah-in-Chicago problem. Ever since I saw I saw her in this outfit, I've been obsessed with her undergarments. My figure is pretty similar to hers, but I've  never been able to make my tits stand up like hers without grabbing them in both hands and just mashing them together. What kind of foundation garments did the costumers use on her here? Did it involve any duct tape? I'm pretty sure I'd need duct tape, to make my boobs do that.

Anyway, that's why I'm doubly fascinated by this Chinese super-bra commercial. If it did work, I'd buy one just to improve my cleavage.

Robophiles, rejoice

I had intended to blog about something else today, but as is often the case, io9 stepped in with something so mind-bogglingly appropriate that I set the other idea aside.

There's nothing subtle about the video below, nothing implied. It's all right out there on crystal-clear display. So, robophiles, start your downloading engines. You're going to want to keep this one!

How could I possibly not post this?

I just found the image at left in the Deviant Art gallery of photographer Addicted Image. He has lots of other goodies, too, including pics of Scar13 and Ancilla Tilia. Go have a look. :-)

Virtual Hypnotist updates

If you haven't paid much attention to the right-hand sidebar, you might not have noticed that I added a new page to my Virtual Hypnotist tutorial: Troubleshooting.

If you use VH and notice any problems with it, check my Troubleshooting page to see if I have a solution. And if you don't see a solution there, please feel free to e-mail me and ask a question. I'll be happy to tell you anything I know, and I'll also address your question (without using your name, of course) on the Troubleshooting page.

MC in unexpected places

We'll take it wherever we can find it, right? And I found a very nice tidbit of MC in Terry Pratchett's Lords and Ladies. Most of you are probably familiar with the Discworld series already, so I won't bother describing it except to note that the books are mostly humorous but have serious undertones.

Lords and Ladies is one of the more serious books in the series; and the scenes I'm about to quote are pretty chilling, I think, despite a touch of jokiness. You don't need to know much of the plot before you dig in, just this: The bad guys in the book are Elves, Diamanda was shot by one of them and is now in their power, she's upstairs in a castle with a captive Elf in the dungeons, Shawn is a castle guard trying to learn martial arts from a bogus book, and Elves are allergic to iron. Now here we go, combining the best bits of two scenes into one:

In the darkness of her sickroom Diamanda opened her eyes, if they were her eyes. There was a pearly sheen to them.

The song was as yet only on the threshold of hearing.

And the world was different. A small part of her mind was still Diamanda, and looked out through the mists of enchantment. The world was a pattern of fine silver lines, constantly moving, as though everything was coated with filigree. Except where there was iron. There the lines were crushed and tight and bent. There, the whole world was invisible. Iron distorted the world. Keep away from iron.

She slipped out of bed, using the edge of her blanket to grasp the door handle, and opened the door.

.....

Shawn peered around the corner. There were the steps, there was the open doorway to the dungeons.

"Stop!" shouted Shawn, just in case.

The sound echoed off the stones.

"Stop! Or...or...or...Stop!"

He eased his way down the steps and looked through the archway.

"I warn you! I'm learning the Path of the Happy Jade Lotus!"

There was the door to the cell, standing ajar. And a white-clad figure next to it.

Shawn blinked.

"Aren't you Miss Tockley?"

She smiled at him. Her eyes glowed in the dim light.

"You're wearing chain mail, Shawn," she said.

"What, miss?" He glanced at the open door again.

"That's terrible. You must take it off, Shawn. How can you hear with all that stuff around your ears?"

Shawn was aware of the empty space behind him. But he daren't look around.

"I can hear fine, miss," he said, trying to ease himself around so that his back was against a wall.

"But you can't hear truly," said Diamanda, drifting forward. "The iron makes you deaf."

Shawn was not used to thinly clad young women approaching him with a dreamy look on their faces. He fervently wished he could take the Path of the Retreating Back.

He glanced sideways. There was a tall skinny shape outlined in the open cell doorway. It was standing very carefully, as if it wanted to keep as far away from its surroundings as possible.

Diamanda was smiling at him in a funny way.

He ran.

*The picture at the top of this post is a cover design for Lords and Ladies, minus the lettering. The artist is Josh Kirby.