Monday, December 19, 2016

Christmas ornament

I'm going on hiatus to enjoy a holiday break (and to see Rogue 1!). See you early in January 2017.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

I think I hypnotized myself for real in a dream

A couple of weeks ago I was taking an afternoon nap, and I had a lucid dream. I'm pretty good at doing that, and if you want to learn how to have a lucid dream, there are lots of YouTube videos that will teach you how. Just don't buy the crap about astral projection.

Well, in this particular lucid dream, I decided that I wanted to act out a hypnosis fantasy. These are usually difficult for me because deep inside, I always know I'm controlling myself. But this time Agnes Zee came to mind - Agnes and her male hypnotist. Of course, normally I'd prefer to be controlled by a female; but Agnes is so hot in trance that I can't help but appreciate the man who sends her there.

I remember a video (which, sadly, seems to have been taken down), where he keeps snapping his fingers and using Agnes' trigger to send her deeper - and to bring her closer and closer to orgasm. She doesn't quite go over the edge, maybe because she doesn't want to do porn - and in fact maybe she took the video down because she decided it was too close to porn. But in this video she comes close to orgasm, so in my lucid dream, I tried to reconstruct what her hypnotist had said, using his words and snapping but my own trigger. And I think I really was hypnotizing myself in that dream, using the man's voice to help me imagine I was under someone else's control.I was also, to put it delicately, experiencing the same sensations as Agnes. Unfortunately, just like her, I didn't reach the finish line. In my dream somebody interrupted me and then I at a daycare center watching over a pack of kids.

But I still have two weird things to relate about this dream. The first is that I got stuck in it so deeply that I couldn't wake up even when I asked people in the dream to slap me. I ended up napping for four hours. I don't know if that's because I hypnotized myself and didn't have anyone to wake me up, or if it was just coincidence.

The second weird thing is that all through the daycare part of the dream, I was gasping for breath. Now, I think I have a bit of sleep apnea, although I've never been tested, but I also think it's mostly under control now. If I dream I'm underwater, I tell myself I can still breathe, and I do; or if I dream I'm about to get swamped by a wave, I tell myself I won't hold my breath until just before it hits me. These techniques seem to work. But in this dream, there was no water, so I had no reason think about holding my breath; and I thought I was out of breath from exercising. I guess in real life I didn't stop breathing, but I was probably breathing very shallowly - and even though I was lucid enough to try to wake up, I wasn't lucid enough to remember my apnea. Weird.

Again, I have no idea whether the length of my nap or my breathlessness was due to hypnosis, but it's something to think about. Anyway, I will try the stunt again if I think about it during a lucid dream. Maybe next time I won't get interrupted.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Vampire mermaids?

I've talked before about my strange fascination with mermaids. I wonder why they play harps that lure men to their death, or why they drag shipwrecked sailors down into the depths to kill htem. What's it all for? Are they just doing it because they can?

I've also talked recently about being on a Lovecraft bender, searching the internet for public-domain stories from his predecessors and contemporaries. I won't weigh you down with a long list of names or links, but I will say that Robert Bloch is by far the best writer in the crowd. (As an aside, I'll also say that, having seen and read lots of Weird Tales stories by now, I'm amazed at what those 30's-era authors and artists got away with. Naked women left and right, just barely disguised sexual imagery in every climax, and gore enough to make Stephen King applaud.)

Well, I wasn't kidding about the vampire mermaids. I've just finished reading a story by Robert Bloch about a sorceress who inhabits the body of an alluring sea-creature, then saps a male victim of his will with repeated dreams and steamy hot kisses (which were no doubt more than kisses, nudge nudge wink wink) so that she can...well, I'll keep that a secret in hopes you'll read the story. I've uploaded the PDF here.

And just to whet your appetites, I'll share this little excerpt where she lures him into a clearly vaginal cave (Notice how he has to squeeze between two jutting points of rock) and sucks a little more of his will away:

The salt breeze blew coldly across his face, and the sea glistened like silver in the moonlight. A faint splash told of a sea-thing that broke the surface of the waters. To the north the sea washed against the rugged surface of the cliff, barred and speckled with black shadows. Dean felt a sudden, inexplicable impulse to move in that direction. He yielded.

As he clambered over the rocks he was suddenly conscious of a strange sensation, as though keen eyes were focused upon him—eyes that watched and warned! Vaguely in his mind rose up the gaunt face of his uncle, Michael Leigh, the deep-set eyes glowing. But swiftly this was gone, and he found himself before a deeper niche of blackness in the cliff face. Into it he knew he must go. He squeezed himself between two jutting points of rock, and found himself in utter, dismal darkness. Yet somehow he was conscious that he was in a cave, and he could hear water lapping nearby. ... He stepped forward, and, as the floor shelved sharply downward, stumbled and fell headlong into icy, shallow water. He felt, rather than saw, a flicker of swift movement, and then abruptly hot lips were pressed against his.

Human lips, Dean thought, at first.

He lay on his side in the chill water, his lips against those responsive ones. He could see nothing, for all was lost in the blackness of the cave. The unearthly lure of those invisible lips thrilled through him.

He responded to them, pressed them fiercely, gave them what they were avidly seeking. The unseen waters crawled against the rocks, whispering warning.

And in that kiss strangeness flooded him. He felt a shock and a tingling go through him, and then a thrill of sudden ecstasy....

Again, if you'd like to read the full story - which is well worth your time - just click here.

Saturday, November 26, 2016


I just found this over on Deviant Art. If you haven't subscribed to this particular poster, you really, really should. Right now.

Ohh, the fantasies I can build around this image!

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Heat and chills

This is a post that grew in the telling (ten points to anyone who gets that reference). I had originally intended to post the first video, and only the first video, two weeks ago. Then I found something better for that weekend; and then last weekend I was as nauseated and terrified as most of the world at certain election results. But let's not talk about that. Here we go with the original video, which is just a fun, hot piece of fluff; and then I'll give you something new and creepy that I just found yesterday.

First up is - warning: controversial opinion ahead - the only scene worth watching in what's supposed to be a camp classic. I tried to watch Barbarella in full. Honestly, I did. But it felt like a Saturday morning kid's TV show with overt sex thrown in, so I kept feeling weirder and more uncomfortable until I had to turn it off. But I did like this scene, where one of the villains tries to torture Barbarella to death with unexpected results. I especially love her exclamation of dismay at the end:

Now here's the creepy second video. Some of you know about a SF anthology series called Black Mirror, which until now was made in the UK (I only saw one episode and loved it, but reviewers everywhere rave about it). Now it's being made in the US and coming to Netflix, so Netflix designed this very...counter-intuitive...promotion for itself: "Hey, you! Forget the rest of the world and be Netflix's zombie slave! You'll love it!" Well, I love it, anyway. Especially that last little bit at the dinner table. Plus, the ad gives me so many, many ideas for corrupting this imaginary technology. I'm sure it will do the same for you:

Sunday, November 6, 2016

two words: eye roll

Here's another case where I went to YouTube to get a video I'd already planned to share with you, but I found something much, much better.

First, I stumbled across this one:

Then, as you know, one thing leads to another:

And all the best hypo videos always lead you back to the glorious Agnes Zee:

All three of these videos will link you more hypno-goodness than you can sit still for, and I was sooo tempted to keep following those links! But I couldn't go on without leaving you a few gifts, so here are three of the best I've seen so far. Enjoy!

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Halloween horror MC

art by Richard Corben
Imagine you're in a canoe, floating down a wide, slow part of the Amazon river. You've been sick for several days with some kind of jungle virus, so you're very weak and feverish. In fact, you lost your oar at some point during a fit of delirium.

Opposite you sits something that used to be your friend. The two of you were orchid hunters, but Falmer went off alone while you were sick. He was exploring a sepulchre full of vine-bound skeletons when he inhaled some strange spores that made him sick. Now he has an alien plant growing out of his skull and slowly taking over his whole body. You tried to cut it out with no success, and when you thought you were getting over your sickness, you got him int the canoe and set off downstream in search of a doctor. But now you're sick again, Falmer is so far gone that you can't tell if he's dead or alive, and in your condition it would be suicide to jump out of the boat and try to swim to shore. So you're stuck here with him/it, waiting to see what will happen next.

That's the setup for Clark Ashton Smith's story "The Seed from the Sepulchre," which you can read in full here. I'm only going to give you the last section, as a Halloween gift. Fair warning: although the story does contain MC, it's a horror story above anything else. That's why I chose it for Halloween (I''ll share something much lighter next week, I promise). I'm putting the squickiest bits in spoiler text, but even if you don't read those parts, you're still in for a very scary ride. Hang on tight.

During the interim of Thone's delirium and his lapse into slumber, the monstrous plant bud, merely stimulated, it would seem, by the act of excision, had grown again with preternatural rapidity, from Falmer's head. A loathsome pale-green stem was mounting thickly, and had started to branch like antlers after attaining a height of six or seven inches.

[highlight for squick]More dreadful than this, if possible, similar growths had issued from the eyes; and their stems, climbing vertically across the forehead, had entirely displaced the eyeballs. Already they were branching like the thing from the crown. [/squick] The antlers were all tipped with pale vermilion. They appeared to quiver with repulsive animations, nodding rhythmically in the warm, windless air... From the mouth another stem protruded, curling upward like a long and whitish tongue. It had not yet begun to bifurcate.

Thone closed his eyes to shut away the shocking vision. Behind his lids, in a yellow dazzle of light, he still saw the cadaverous features, the climbing stems that quivered against the dawn like ghastly hydras of tomb-etiolated green. They seemed to be waving toward him, growing and lengthening as they waved. He opened his eyes again, and fancied, with a start of new terror; that the antlers were actually taller than they had been a few moments previous.

After that, he sat watching them in a sort of baleful hypnosis. The illusion of the plant's visible growth, and freer movement – if it were illusion – increased upon him. Falmer, however, did not stir, and his parchment face appeared to shrivel and fall in, as if the roots of the growth were draining his blood, were devouring his very flesh in their insatiable and ghoulish hunger.

Thone wrenched his eyes away and stared at the river shore. The stream had widened and the current had grown more sluggish. He sought to recognize their location, looking vainly for some familiar landmark in the monotonous dull-green cliffs of jungle that lined the margin. He felt hopelessly lost and alienated. He seemed to be drifting on an unknown tide of madness and nightmare, accompanied by something more frightful than corruption itself.

His mind began to wander with an odd inconsequence, coming back always, in a sort of closed circle, to the thing that was devouring Falmer. With a flash of scientific curiosity, he found himself wondering to what genus it belonged. It was neither fungus nor pitcher plant, nor anything that he had ever encountered or heard of in his explorations. It must have come, as Falmer had suggested, from an alien world: it was nothing that the earth could conceivably have nourished.

He felt, with a comforting assurance, that Falmer was dead. That at least, was a mercy. But even as he shaped the thought he heard a low, guttural moaning, and, peering at Falmer in a horrible startlement, saw that his limbs and body were twitching slightly. The twitching increased, and took on a rhythmic regularity, though at no time did it resemble the agonized and violent convulsions of the previous day. It was plainly automatic, like a sort of galvanism; and Thone saw that it was timed with the languorous and loathsome swaying of the plant. The effect on the watcher was insidiously mesmeric and somnolent; and once he caught himself beating the detestable rhythm with his foot.

He tried to pull himself together, groping desperately for something to which his sanity could cling. Ineluctably, his illness returned: fever, nausea, and revulsion worse than the loathliness of death. But before he yielded to it utterly, he drew his loaded revolver from the holster and fired six times into Falmer's quivering body. He knew that he had not missed, but after the final bullet Falmer still moaned and twitched in unison with the evil swaying of the plant, and Thone, sliding into delirium, heard still the ceaseless, automatic moaning.

There was no time in the world of seething unreality and shoreless oblivion through which he drifted. When he came to himself again, he could not know if hours or weeks had elapsed. But he knew at once that the boat was no longer moving; and lifting himself dizzily, he saw that it had floated into shallow water and mud and was nosing the beach of a tiny, jungle-tufted isle in mid-river. The putrid odor of slime was about him like a stagnant pool; and he heard a strident humming of insects.
It was either late morning or early afternoon, for the sun was high in the still heavens. Lianas were drooping above him from the island trees like uncoiled serpents, and epiphytic orchids, marked with ophidian mottlings, leaned toward him grotesquely from lowering boughs. Immense butterflies went past on sumptuously spotted wings.

art by Sergiy Krykun
He sat up, feeling very giddy and lightheaded, and faced again the horror that accompanied him. The thing had grown incredibly: the three-antlered stems, mounting above Falmer's head, had become gigantic and had put out masses of ropy feelers that tossed uneasily in the air, as if searching for support – or new provender. In the topmost antlers a prodigious blossom had opened – a sort of fleshy disk, broad as a man's face and white as leprosy.

Falmer's features had shrunken till the outlines of every bone were visible as if beneath tightened paper. He was a mere death's head in a mask of human skin; and beneath his clothing the body was little more than a skeleton. He was quite still now, except for the communicated quivering of the stems. The atrocious plant had sucked him dry, had eaten his vitals and his flesh.

Thone wanted to hurl himself forward in a mad impulse to grapple with the growth. But a strange paralysis held him back. The plant was like a living and sentient thing – a thing that watched him, that dominated him with its unclean but superior will. And the huge blossom, as he stared, took on the dim, unnatural semblance of a face. It was somehow like the face of Falmer, but the lineaments were twisted all awry, and were mingled with those of something wholly devilish and nonhuman. Thone could not move – he could not take his eyes from the blasphemous abnormality.

By some miracle, his fever had left him; and it did not return. Instead, there came an eternity of frozen fright and madness in which he sat facing the mesmeric plant. It towered before him from the dry, dead shell that had been Falmer, its swollen, glutted stems and branches swaying gently, its huge flower leering perpetually upon him with its impious travesty of a human face. He thought that he heard a low, singing sound, ineffably sweet, but whether it emanated from the plant or was a mere hallucination of his overwrought senses, he could not know.

The sluggish hours went by, and a grueling sun poured down its beams like molten lead from some titanic vessel of torture. His head swam with weakness and the fetor-laden heat, but he could not relax the rigor of his posture. There was no change in the nodding monstrosity, which seemed to have attained its full growth above the head of its victim. But after a long interim Thone's eyes were drawn to the shrunken hands of Falmer, which still clasped the drawn-up knees in a spasmodic clutch. Through the ends of the fingers, tiny white rootlets had broken and were writhing slowly in the air, groping, it seemed, for a new source of nourishment. Then from the neck and chin, other tips were breaking, and over the whole body the clothing stirred in a curious manner, as if with the crawling and lifting of hidden lizards.

At the same time the singing grew louder, sweeter, more imperious, and the swaying of the great plant assumed an indescribably seductive tempo. It was like the allurement of voluptuous sirens, the deadly languor of dancing cobras. Thone felt an irresistible compulsion: a summons was being laid upon him, and his drugged mind and body must obey it. The very fingers of Falmer, twisting viperishly, seemed beckoning to him. Suddenly he was on his hands and knees in the bottom of the boat. Inch by inch, with terror and fascination contending in his brain, he crept forward, dragging himself over the disregarded bundle of orchid-plants, inch by inch, foot by foot, till his head was against the withered hands of Falmer, from which hung and floated the questing roots.

Some cataleptic spell had made him helpless. He felt the rootlets as they moved like delving fingers through his hair and over his face and neck, and started to strike in with agonizing, needle-sharp tips. He could not stir; he could not even close his lids. [highlight for squick]In a frozen stare, he saw the gold and carmine flash of a hovering butterfly as the roots began to pierce his pupils.[/squick]

Deeper and deeper went the greedy roots, while new filaments grew out to enmesh him like a witch's net. For a while, it seemed that the dead and the living writhed together in leashed convulsions. At last Thone hung supine amid the lethal, ever-growing web; bloated and colossal, the plant lived on; and in its upper branches, through the still, stifling afternoon, a second flower began to unfold.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Sweet, hypnotic body horror

picture source
So I finally got around to reading the classic SF/horror story Shambleau; and y'all, this story is so hot that it's making me go all Southern all you. C.L. Moore gets it. She gets the attraction of submitting to an evil mind controller better than any other mainstream author I know of, and she knows how to make you feel it down to your...ahem...roots:

[T]through all that was Smith the dreadful pleasure ran. And it was truly dreadful. Dimly he knew it, even as his body answered to the root-deep ecstasy, a foul and dreadful wooing from which his very soul shuddered away—and yet in the innermost depths of that soul some grinning traitor shivered with delight.

You know that grinning traitor, don't you? It lives in me, and I'll bet it lives in you too - and in C. L. Moore herself. trilby else has read all of Moore's "Jirel of Joiry" novels, and he says there's MC in some of them, too. Considering how well Moore writes, I'll have to look up those "Jirel of Joiry" stories myself soon.

But about this story, "Shambleau." It contains so many, many squirmy-hot scenes that part of me wants to just quote the whole middle section right here. Unfortunately, that would deprive you of the pleasure of discovering more hot scenes than the one I'm quoting here. But ohh, how you're going to love the description of the protagonist's late-stage enslavement! You'll have to read that here, though, along with the rest of the story. In this blog entry, I'm just going to give you  an introduction to the story and then quote the centerpiece scene (The ellipses came from C.L. Moore; I'm not leaving anything out).

First, the introduction. This is one of those space westerns that were popular before we learned what the surface of Mars and Venus were really like. Our hero is Northwest Smith, but you might as well just picture him as Han Solo circa A New Hope. They're a close enough match, and you'll have more fun imagining Han in these situations than you will if you just think of a random smuggler. At the beginning of the story, Smith/Han saves an alien girl from a mob who want to kill her. They keep chanting "Shambleau," but Smith/Han doesn't know what that means, and he takes her in. The girl has velvety brown skin; a tattered, scarlet leather garment (mmm!); emerald eyes with catlike pupils; and a tight-fitting turban. Naturally our hero is attracted to her, and once they're alone in his rented room he tries to kiss her; but some instinctual fear makes him push her back at the last second.That night he dreams about being paralyzed while something slimy but wonderful caresses his neck. He forgets it the next day.

Then, the next night, this happens:

    From deeps of sound sleep he awoke much later. He awoke suddenly and completely, and with that inner excitement that presages something momentous. He awoke to brilliant moonlight, turning the room so bright that he could see the scarlet of the girl's rags as she sat up on her pallet. She was awake, she was sitting with her shoulder half turned to him and her head bent, and some warning instinct crawled coldly up his spine as he watched what she was doing. And yet it was a very ordinary thing for a girl to do—any girl, anywhere. She was unbinding her turban . . .
    He watched, not breathing, a presentiment of something horrible stirring in his brain, inexplicably . . . The red folds loosened, and—he knew then that he had not dreamed—again a scarlet lock swung down against her cheek . . . a hair, was it? a lock of hair? . . . thick as a thick worm it fell, plumply, against that smooth cheek . . . more scarlet than blood and thick as a crawling worm . . . and like a worm it crawled.
    Smith rose on an elbow, not realizing the motion, and fixed an unwinking stare, with a sort of sick, fascinated incredulity, on that—that lock of hair. He had not dreamed. Until now he had taken it for granted that it was the segir which had made it seem to move on that evening before. But now . . . it was lengthening, stretching, moving of itself. It must be hair, but it crawled; with a sickening life of its own it squirmed down against her cheek, caressingly, revoltingly, impossibly . . . Wet, it was, and round and thick and shining . . .
    She unfastened the last fold and whipped the turban off. From what he saw then Smith would have turned his eyes away—and he had looked on dreadful things before, without flinching—but he could not stir. He could only lie there on elbow staring at the mass of scarlet, squirming—worms, hairs, what?—that writhed over her head in a dreadful mockery of ringlets. And it was lengthening, falling, somehow growing before his eyes, down over her shoulders in a spilling cascade, a mass that even at the beginning could never have been hidden under the skull-tight turban she had worn. He was beyond wondering, but he realized that. And still it squirmed and lengthened and fell, and she shook it out in a horrible travesty of a woman shaking out her unbound hair—until the unspeakable tangle of it—twisting, writhing, obscenely scarlet—hung to her waist and beyond, and still lengthened, an endless mass of crawling horror that until now, somehow, impossibly, had been hidden under the tight-bound turban. It was like a nest of blind, restless red worms . . . it was—it was like naked entrails endowed with an unnatural aliveness, terrible beyond words.
    Smith lay in the shadows, frozen without and within in a sick numbness that came of utter shock and revulsion.
    She shook out the obscene, unspeakable tangle over her shoulders, and somehow he knew that she was going to turn in a moment and that he must meet her eyes. The thought of that meeting stopped his heart with dread, more awfully than anything else in this nightmare horror; for nightmare it must be, surely. But he knew without trying that he could not wrench his eyes away—the sickened fascination of that sight held him motionless, and somehow there was a certain beauty . . .
Her head was turning. The crawling awfulness rippled and squirmed at the motion, writhing thick and wet and shining over the soft brown shoulders about which they fell now in obscene cascades that all but hid her body. Her head was turning. Smith lay numb. And very slowly he saw the round of her cheek foreshorten and her profile come into view, all the scarlet horrors twisting ominously, and the profile shortened in turn and her full face came slowly round toward the bed—moonlight shining brilliantly as day on the pretty girl-face, demure and sweet, framed in tangled obscenity that crawled . . .
    The green eyes met his. He felt a perceptible shock, and a shudder rippled down his paralyzed spine, leaving an icy numbness in its wake. He felt the goose-flesh rising. But that numbness and cold horror he scarcely realized, for the green eyes were locked with his in a long, long look that somehow presaged nameless things—not altogether unpleasant things—the voiceless voice of her mind assailing him with little murmurous promises . . .
    For a moment he went down into a blind abyss of submission; and then somehow the very sight of that obscenity in eyes that did not then realize they saw it, was dreadful enough to draw him out of the seductive darkness . . . the sight of her crawling and alive with unnamable horror.
    She rose, and down about her in a cascade fell the squirming scarlet of—of what grew upon her head. It fell in a long, alive cloak to her bare feet on the floor, hiding her in a wave of dreadful, wet, writhing life. She put up her hands and like a swimmer she parted the waterfall of it, tossing the masses back over her shoulders to reveal her own brown body, sweetly curved. She smiled exquisitely, and in starting waves back from her forehead and down about her in a hideous background writhed the snaky wetness of her living tresses. And Smith knew that he looked upon Medusa.
    The knowledge of that—the realization of vast backgrounds reaching into misted history—shook him out of his frozen horror for a moment, and in that moment he met her eyes again, smiling, green as glass in the moonlight, half hooded under drooping lids. Through the twisting scarlet she held out her arms. And there was something soul-shakingly desirable about her, so that all the blood surged to his head suddenly and he stumbled to his feet like a sleeper in a dream as she swayed toward him, infinitely graceful, infinitely sweet in her cloak of living horror.
    And somehow there was beauty in it, the wet scarlet writhings with moonlight sliding and shining along the thick, worm-round tresses and losing itself in the masses only to glint again and move silvery along writhing tendrils—an awful, shuddering beauty more dreadful than any ugliness could be.
    But all this, again, he but half realized, for the insidious murmur was coiling again through his brain, promising, caressing, alluring, sweeter than honey; and the green eyes that held his were clear and burning like the depths of a jewel, and behind the pulsing slits of darkness he was staring into a greater dark that held all things . . . He had known—dimly he had known when he first gazed into those flat animal shallows that behind them lay this—all beauty and terror, all horror and delight, in the infinite darkness upon which her eyes opened like windows, paned with emerald glass.
    Her lips moved, and in a murmur that blended indistinguishably with the silence and the sway of her body and the dreadful sway of her—her hair—she whispered—very softly, very passionately, "I shall—speak to you now—in my own tongue—oh, beloved!"
    And in her living cloak she swayed to him, the murmur swelling seductive and caressing in his innermost brain—promising, compelling, sweeter than sweet. His flesh crawled to the horror of her, but it was a perverted revulsion that clasped what it loathed. His arms slid round her under the sliding cloak, wet, wet and warm and hideously alive—and the sweet velvet body was clinging to his, her arms locked about his neck—and with a whisper and a rush the unspeakable horror closed about them both.
    In nightmares until he died he remembered that moment when the living tresses of Shambleau first folded him in their embrace. A nauseous, smothering odor as the wetness shut around him—thick, pulsing worms clasping every inch of his body, sliding, writhing, their wetness and warmth striking through his garments as if he stood naked to their embrace.
picture source
    All this in a graven instant—and after that a tangled flash of conflicting sensation before oblivion closed over him for he remembered the dream—and knew it for nightmare reality now, and the sliding, gently moving caresses of those wet, warm worms upon his flesh was an ecstasy above words—that deeper ecstasy that strikes beyond the body and beyond the mind and tickles the very roots of soul with unnatural delight. So he stood, rigid as marble, as helplessly stony as any of Medusa's victims in ancient legends were, while the terrible pleasure of Shambleau thrilled and shuddered through every fiber of him; through every atom of his body and the intangible atoms of what men call the soul, through all that was Smith the dreadful pleasure ran. And it was truly dreadful. Dimly he knew it, even as his body answered to the root-deep ecstasy, a foul and dreadful wooing from which his very soul shuddered away—and yet in the innermost depths of that soul some grinning traitor shivered with delight. But deeply, behind all this, he knew horror and revulsion and despair beyond telling, while the intimate caresses crawled obscenely in the secret places of his soul—knew that the soul should not be handled—and shook with the perilous pleasure through it all.
    And this conflict and knowledge, this mingling of rapture and revulsion all took place in the flashing of a moment while the scarlet worms coiled and crawled upon him, sending deep, obscene tremors of that infinite pleasure into every atom that made up Smith. And he could not stir in that slimy, ecstatic embrace—and a weakness was flooding that grew deeper after each succeeding wave of intense delight, and the traitor in his soul strengthened and drowned out the revulsion—and something within him ceased to struggle as he sank wholly into a blazing darkness that was oblivion to all else but that devouring rapture . . .

Sunday, October 16, 2016

If the Phantasm sphere was a mind control device

I first became aware of this video when Antjack posted some stills from it on his site. They were so intriguing that I had to look up the full video right away - and I wanted to make a post about it right away. But one thing led to another, and I'm only now getting to share it with you. I think you'll agree that it's worth the wait.

I'm not going to tell you anything about what's coming except that the actress is Rosamund Pike from the movie Gone Girl. Now, strap in tight and enjoy the ride.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Vintage - but blazing hot - MC

painting by Zdzisław Beksiński
Before there was H.P. Lovecraft, there was Robert W. Chambers. I'm betting that you don't know who Chambers is, but that you'd recognize at least some of these names: The King in Yellow, the Yellow Sign, Hastur, and Carcosa. Lovecraft and Lovecraft's followers took them all and ran with them (Well, Chambers actually took Carcosa from Ambrose Bierce and ran with it, but then Lovecraft's gang took it too and ran even further).

Chambers is a much better writer than Lovecraft. In fact, Lovecraft once said, "Chambers is like Rupert Hughes and a few other fallen Titans – equipped with the right brains and education but wholly out of the habit of using them" - by which Lovecraft meant that Chambers was a fool to stop writing weird fiction and to shift instead to romance and adventure. I wish Chambers had written more weird fiction, myself, but at least he gave us five "King in Yellow" pieces and several other good spook stories, including one called "The Case of Mr. Helmer" in which you'd swear Neil Gaiman's own famous Death makes an appearance. Just for my own pleasure, I made an e-book of Chambers' "King in Yellow" stories and some of his other best work, and you're welcome to download a free copy if you like. All his work is in the public domain, so none of us will get in trouble for it. Here's the Dropbox link. And here's a hint: The very best "King in Yellow" story is "The Yellow Sign."

But all the above is just preface. After Chambers went mainstream, he wrote a handful of other supernatural novels, including one called The Slayer of Souls. It's about a young woman named Tressa who's captured by a devil-worshiping cult and escapes after learning all their magic. She then joins the US Secret Service in an attempt to track down and eliminate the cult leaders, who can control human minds and turn them to the worship of Erlik, the devil. It's a pretty cool concept, and especially cool when you realize that the novel was written just as women were beginning to get voting rights, yet Tressa is far more powerful than any man in the story. Then there's another powerful woman, one of the villains, who has this encounter with Tressa's so-called protector, Cleves:

Now, grasping his pistol but not drawing it, he began another stealthy tour of the apartment, exploring every nook and cranny. And, at the end, had discovered nothing new.
When at length he realised that, as far as he could discover, there was not a living thing in the place excepting himself, a very faint chill grew along his neck and shoulders, and he caught his breath suddenly, deeply.
He had come back to the bedroom, now. The perfume of the orchids saturated the still air.
And, as he stood staring at them, all of a sudden he saw, where their twisted stalks rested in the transparent bowl of water, something moving—something brilliant as a live ember gliding out from among the mass of submerged stems—a living fish glowing in scarlet hues and winnowing the water with grotesquely trailing fins as delicate as filaments of scarlet lace.
To and fro swam the fish among the maze of orchid stalks. Even its eyes were hot and red as molten rubies; and as its crimson gills swelled and relaxed and swelled, tints of cherry-fire waxed and waned over its fat and glowing body.
And vaguely, now, in the perfume saturated air, Cleves seemed to sense a subtle taint of evil,—something sinister in the intense stillness of the place—in the jewelled fish gliding so silently in and out among the pallid convolutions of the drowned stems.
As he stood staring at the fish, the drugged odour of the orchids heavy in his throat and lungs, something stirred very lightly in the room.
Chills crawling over every limb, he looked around across his shoulder.
There was a figure seated cross-legged in the middle of the bed!
Then, in the perfumed silence, the girl laughed.
For a full minute neither of them moved. No sound had echoed her low laughter save the deadened pulsations of his own heart. But now there grew a faint ripple of water in the bowl where the scarlet fish, suddenly restless, was swimming hither and thither as though pursued by an invisible hand.
With the slight noise of splashing water in his ears, Cleves stood staring at the figure on the bed. Under her chinchilla the girl seemed to be all a pale golden tint—hair, skin, eyes. The scant shred of an evening gown she wore, the jewels at her throat and breast, all were yellow and amber and saffron-gold.
And now, looking him in the eyes, she leisurely disengaged the robe of silver fur from her naked shoulders and let it fall around her on the bed. For a second the lithe, willowy golden thing gathered there as gracefully as a coiled snake filled him with swift loathing. Then, almost instantly, the beauty of the lissome creature fascinated him.
She leaned forward and set her elbows on her two knees, and rested her face between her hands—like a gold rose-bud between two ivory petals, he thought, dismayed by this young thing's beauty, shaken by the dull confusion of his own heart battering his breast like the blows of a rising tide.
"What do you wish?" she inquired in her soft young voice. "Why have you come secretly into my rooms to search—and clasping in your hand a loaded pistol deep within your pocket?"
"Why have you hidden yourself until now?" he retorted in a dull and laboured voice.
"I have been here."
"Here!... Looking at you.... And watching my scarlet fish. His name is Dzelim. He is nearly a thousand years old and as wise as a magician. Look upon him, my lord! See how rapidly he darts around his tiny crystal world!—like a comet through outer star-dust, running the eternal race with Time.... And—yonder is a chair. Will my lord be seated—at his new servant's feet?"
A strange, physical weariness seemed to weight his limbs and shoulders. He seated himself near the bed, never taking his heavy gaze from the smiling, golden thing which squatted there watching him so intently....
She lifted one hand and with her forefinger made signs from right to left and then downward as though writing in Turkish and in Chinese characters.
"It is written," she said in a low voice, "that we belong to God and we return to him. Look out what you are about, my lord!"
He drew his pistol from his overcoat and, holding it, rested his hand on his knee.
"Now," he said hoarsely, "while we await the coming of Togrul Kahn, you shall remain exactly where you are, and you shall tell me exactly who you are in order that I may decide whether to arrest you as an alien enemy inciting my countrymen to murder, or to let you go as a foreigner who is able to prove her honesty and innocence."
The girl laughed:
"Be careful," she said. "My danger lies in your youth and mine—somewhere between your lips and mine lies my only danger from you, my lord."
A dull flush mounted to his temples and burned there....
Look upon me, my lord!
There was a golden light in his eyes which seemed to stiffen the muscles and confuse his vision. He heard her voice again as though very far away:
"It is written that we shall love, my lord—thou and I—this night—this night. Listen attentively. I am thy slave. My lips shall touch thy feet. Look upon me, my lord!"
There was a dazzling blindness in his eyes and in his brain. He swayed a little still striving to fix her with his failing gaze. His pistol hand slipped sideways from his knee, fell limply, and the weapon dropped to the thick carpet. He could still see the glimmering golden shape of her, still hear her distant voice:
"It is written that we belong to God.... Tokhta!..."
Over his knees was settling a snow-white [shroud]; on it, in his lap, lay a naked knife. There was not a sound in the room save the rushing and splashing of the scarlet fish in its crystal bowl.
Bending nearer, the girl fixed her yellow eyes on the man who looked back at her with dying gaze, sitting upright and knee deep in his shroud.
Then, noiselessly she uncoiled her supple golden body, extending her right arm toward the knife.
"Look upon me attentively, my lord!
Her smooth little hand closed on the hilt; the scarlet fish splashed furiously in the bowl, dislodging a blossom or two which fell to the carpet and slowly faded into mist.
Now she grasped the knife, and she slipped from the bed to the floor and stood before the dazed man.
"This is the Namaz-Ga," she said in her silky voice. "Behold, this is the appointed Place of Prayer. Gaze around you, my lord. These are the shadows of mighty men who come here to see you die in the Place of Prayer."
Cleves's head had fallen back, but his eyes were open. The Baroulass girl took his head in both hands and turned it hither and thither. And his glazing eyes seemed to sweep a throng of shadowy white-robed men crowding the room. And ... his stiffening lips parted in an uttered cry, and sagged open, flaccid and soundless.
The Baroulass sorceress lifted the shroud from his knees and spread it on the carpet, moving with leisurely grace about her business and softly intoning the Prayers for the Dead.
Then, having made her arrangements, she took her knife into her right hand again and came back to the half-conscious man, and stood close in front of him, bending near and looking curiously into his dimmed eyes.
"Ayah!" she said smilingly. "This is the Place of Prayer. And you shall add your prayer to ours before I use my knife. So! I give you back your power of speech. Pronounce the name of Erlik!"
Very slowly his dry lips moved and his dry tongue trembled. The word they formed was,

Not bad at all for a novel published in 1920, eh? And you can find The Slayer of Souls for free too, since it's in the public domain. I forgot where I found my copy, but I'll be glad to put that in my Dropbox too if anyone asks for it. Just be warned that the rest of the novel isn't anywhere near as hot as this scene; it's all very, very Christian; and Chambers thinks socialism and "lamaism" (by which I think he means Buddhism) are tools of the devil. The best thing about it, IMO, is its secret feminism. I'm not sure Chambers himself knew what he was implying by making Tressa the most powerful character in the book.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Okay, so here's the plan

I am now officially off hiatus and back to writing.

One thing that kept me from announcing this earlier is that I couldn't decide what to write. I know a lot of you are waiting for the CYOA sequel to Transfixed, and I want to give it to you as soon as possible. But writing a CYOA is like climbing Mount Everest: it's a huge task, and the events of this year had left me feeling very intimidated. Meanwhile, for about the last month, another story had sprung up in my mind without any conscious decision to write something new. It began with a vague idea I'd had for years, but then out of nowhere characters and scenes started writing themselves in my head; and they did it mostly at night while I was trying to get to sleep. That meant, of course, that I wasn't sleeping, not very well anyway.

So here's what I've decided. I'm going to do the new story first and try to use it as a base camp, acclimatizing me for the CYOA which will be my climb up Mount Everest. But right now I'll try to give you enough details about Transfixed to settle your cravings, I'll tell you a bit about the new story, and I'll offer a tease about a little side project I might do.

Transfixed first. My previous CYOA was sort of an exploration: you could do a lot of different things, sometimes just for fun; and you could reach a lot of different endings, none of which were technically wins or losses. Depending on your tastes, any of the outcomes might float your boat. But the Transfixed CYOA will work more like a game with a definite objective. If you play as Jason and Rebekah, your objective will to save Captain Sato. It can be done - and you can also save Captain Stone and stop the ticks for good, if you play well enough. Alternately, you can play as Nils (the half-crazed Swede from the refrigerator) and have a more mysterious adventure. You can only learn about Nils by playing as him, and his original objective will change as the plot moves along. His story is a bit more like a typical video game, with more strategizing and more shooting (if you want shooting, that is); and he, too, has a chance to stop the ticks for good.

Now about this new story. My working title is "Brainwashing of the Rich and Famous," but I'm not sure what percentage of my readership would get that reference. Please leave me some comments about that to help me decide, and if my plot description gives you an idea for a different title, let me know. If I use it, I'll give you full credit and a free book. This story is going to have a little bit of a trilby else/Dormignonne vibe, in that vacationers travel to an island paradise where they're gradually sucked into slavery. But in my story, the vacationers are all rich and famous, and they've come for a half hippy, half New Age retreat that promises to make them better people...and to give them lots of sex along the way. But everything they say and do, everything they eat and drink, is really designed to suck them into a cult. I'm trying to use real-world methods for this part of the story (sleep deprivation, for instance), so that will be a change for me. Then there's a second, more intensive retreat where they're completely stripped of their personalities; and since they've already been brainwashed into believing everything the retreat leaders tell them, they go along with the new, stricter agenda and never question what's happening. As for the ending, well, I think you can guess.

Finally, there's another quick project I'm contemplating. I feel sure I'll do this at some point, but I don't know when. It could be this year or next. I've said before that I have a YouTube channel, and recently I uploaded some clips from an old B&W movie called White Zombie. It can be taken as a story about MC just as much as a story about zombification, and the female lead has a wonderful trance face. Well, the movie is in the public domain, and I've been thinking about how I could edit and rearrange some scenes to erase the happy ending and give it the kind of slap-in-the-face MC ending that pervs like us prefer. But don't worry; my new story will have first priority. I might do the White Zombie thing one weekend if I need a break, but it's definitely on the back burner. You can see the original clips on my YouTube channel now, though.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Imagine I'm here
You can imagine yourself in the other tube, as long as you don't get any weird ideas about you and me together. ;-)

Yes, my blogging has gotten very spotty lately, and it's likely to continue that way for a while. I wish I could just upload my consciousness to the internet and abandon my physical life and all its problems, but I just can't. When I find a tasty picture like the one here, or when I find anything else that's irresistible, I'm sure I'll post it; but otherwise you might not hear much from me for a while.

One other thing before I go, though: all on its own, Kindle has made Willing Subject free. They told me it's because they're matching the price on another site, but I don't know what site that is. Anyway, I suppose it's a good advertisement for my work - and it also means that you can get a free copy of WS if you don't have the book already. I consider it one of my best.

Monday, August 1, 2016

On behalf of all indie writers

I have a lot of writer friends on Facebook, both under my "A. Regina Cantatis" pseudonym and under my real name. Not too long ago, one of these friends made a post advertising their latest books, and some asshole responded with a smartass comment to the effect of "nyah nyah nyah, I got a free copy from another site."

I know this happens to all writers. I know it's happened to me more than once, although only one asshole has been asshole-ish enough to brag about it. But if you're one of those people who goes that route, think about this. Indie writers tend to be young people with spouses and children - and their spouses are bringing in most of the money so that the writer can keep trying to write in hopes of one day making it big. These authors are often middle- or lower-class. Some are disabled and can't work a standard job, and this is their only way of staying afloat.

Now think of your own experiences writing. We've all had to write essays and research reports in school, so we've all had the experience of looking at a blank page wondering how the hell to put words on it. Yes, some of us have the talent to do it, but guess what? It's not easy even for the people who do have talent. The authors who publish several books a year have to work at it like Olympic athletes, pushing themselves day in and day out, to produce that kind of output.

And then, if you're a mid-level indie author and not a superstar, the most you can really expect to charge for your hard work is $2.99. And Amazon, Smashwords, or whoever will take a cut - and then you'll be taxed on what's left.

So the next time you think about stealing a free copy of some author's book, just imagine a high school bully stealing a smaller kid's money. That's you.

Sunday, July 24, 2016


If you've been following this blog for a while, you already know I love Neil Gaiman beyond words. And if you've been following the news from Comic Con and/or any of the SF/supernatural fiction-related websites, you know that Gaiman's book American Gods is being filmed as a TV series for Starz. The first trailer dropped a couple of days ago, and it was everything I could have hoped for. Gah, Peter Stormare alone, holding that sledgehammer, is American Gods brought to life.

Of course, there's nothing sexy about Peter Stormare (at least not in this role). What is sexy is the goddess Bilquis. I wasn't sure, until I saw the trailer, how much we'd see of her most memorable scene; but it looks like we're going to get an R-rated version at least. Gaiman has confirmed this, and he says that all the best scenes and lines from the book are going to be in the series. That includes the goddess Media (played by Gillian Anderson!), manifesting as Lucy from I Love Lucy, asking our protagonist if he wants to "see Lucy's tits."

I'll embed the trailer at the bottom of this post, and I'll encourage you to watch it at least twice so you can take in every amazing little detail. Notice, especially, the look of glowing satisfaction in Bilquis' eyes after she does her thing. And just in case you need a reminder, this is her thing:

He unbuttons his blue jeans and removes his olive T-shirt. She massages his white shoulders with her brown fingers; then she turns him over and begins to make love to him with her hands, and her fingers, and her tongue.

It seems to him that the lights in the red room have been dimmed, and the sole illumination comes from the candle, which burns with a bright flame.

"What's your name?" he asks her.

"Bilquis," she tells him, raising her head. "With a Q."

"A what?"

"Never mind."

He is gasping now. "Let me fuck you," he says. "I have to fuck you."

"Okay, hon," she says. "We'll do it. But will you do something for me, while you're doing it?"

"Hey," he says, suddenly tetchy. "I'm paying you, you know."

She straddles him, in one smooth movement, whispering, "I know, honey. I know, you're paying me, and I mean, look at you. I should be paying you, I'm so lucky..."

He purses his lips, trying to show that her hooker talk is having no effect on him, he can't be taken; that she's a street whore, for Chrissakes, while he's practically a producer, and he knows all about last-minute ripoffs, but she doesn't ask for money. Instead she says, "Honey, while you're giving it to me, while you're pushing that big hard thing inside of me, will you worship me?"

"Will I what?"

She is rocking back and forth on him: the engorged head of his penis is being rubbed against the wet lips of her vulva.

"Will you call me goddess? Will you pray to me? Will you worship me with your body?"

He smiles. Its that all she wants? We've all got our kinks, at the end of the day. "Sure," he says. She reaches her hand between her legs and slips him inside her.

"Is that good, is it, goddess?" he asks, gasping.

"Worship me, honey," says Bilquis, the hooker.

"Yes," he says, "I worship your breasts and your hair and your cunt. I worship your thighs and your eyes and your cherry-red lips..."

"Yes..." she croons, riding him.

"I worship your nipples, from which the milk of life flows. Your kiss is honey and your touch scorches like fire, and I worship it." His words are becoming more rhythmic now, keeping pace with the thrust and roll of their bodies. "Bring me your lust in the morning, and bring me relief and your blessing in the evening. Let me walk in dark places unharmed and let me come to you once more and sleep beside you and make love with you again. I worship you with everything that is within me, and everything inside my mind, with everywhere I've been and my dreams and my..." he breaks off, panting for breath. "What are you doing? That feels amazing. So amazing..." and he looks down at his hips, at the place where the two of them conjoin, but her forefinger touches his chin and pushes his head back, so he is looking only at her face and at the ceiling once again.

"Keep talking, honey," she says. "Don't stop. Doesn't it feel good?"

"It feels better than anything has ever felt," he tells her, meaning it as he says it. "Your eyes are stars, burning in the, shit, the firmament, and your lips are gentle waves that lick the sand, and I worship them," and now he's thrusting deeper and deeper insider her; he feels electric, as if his whole lower body has become sexually charged: priapic, engorged, blissful.

"Bring me your gift," he mutters, no longer knowing what he is saying, "your one true gift, and make me always this...always so...I pray...I..."

And then the pleasure crests into orgasm, blasting his mind into void, his head and self and entire being a perfect blank as he thrusts deeper into her and deeper still...

Eyes closed, spasming, he luxuriates in the moment; and then he feels a lurch, and it seems to him that he is hanging, head down, although the pleasure continues.

He opens his eyes.

He thinks, grasping for thought and reason again, of birth, and wonders, without fear, in a moment of perfect postcoital clarity, whether what he sees is some kind of illusion.

This is what he sees:

He is inside her to the chest, and as he stares at this in disbelief and wonder she rests both hands upon his shoulders and puts gentle pressure on his body.

He slipslides further insider her.

"How are you doing this to me?" he asks, or he thinks he asks, but perhaps it is only in his head.

"You're doing it, honey," she whispers. He feels the lips of her vulva, tight around his upper chest and back, constricting and enveloping him. He wonders what this would look like to somebody watching them. He wonders why he is not scared. And then he knows.

"I worship you with my body," he whispers, as she pushes him inside her. Her labia pull slickly across his face, and his eyes slip into darkness.

She stretches on the bed, like a huge cat, and then she yawns. "Yes," she says. "You do."

Sunday, July 17, 2016

The fantasies could just spiral on forever

First, thanks to K for pointing me toward the video below, which shows real-life models who don't just act like unmoving mannequins, but are hypnotically programmed to remain motionless until they're "unlocked." Especially notice the descriptive text. These models are trained with three hours of hypnosis every day for three months, and then they receive two hours of reinforcement every week thereafter. Three hours of hypnosis every day for three months! Then weekly reinforcement! Can you imagine how suggestible you'd be after that much time in trance? I'd give anything to have this job.

Okay, now that you've watched the video, let's free associate about it.

First, I love the scene beginning at 1:46 where the model is just sitting there, frozen, while other people are talking about her. She seems totally unaware of them, but the hypnotist says she can see and hear. That's a shame, don't you think? It would be hotter if her mind was as blank as her face.

But the fact that she can hear makes me wonder what goes through these models' heads when they're frozen. The "instruction sheet" shown at 2:16 says the models can pose for up to 30 minutes at a time.What do they think about while they're frozen? I'd want to be programmed to be in a state of bliss every time I was frozen, loving my obedience and helplessness, and loving the amazed stares of everyone who saw me.

The guy at 3:41 has a smooth, shiny face and hair that reminds me of Gigolo Joe from the movie A.I. Thinking that takes me off on a new round of fantasies about how hypnotized models could be made up to look more like mannequins than people...and then how they could be programmed to think they were mannequins. Three hours of hypnosis a day for three months could have all kinds of interesting effects.

Now let's take it a step further. Remember fashion Thierry Mugler's famous "robot suit" from the 90's? Here, let me remind you...and let me also add a quick aside to say I like the third picture best  because the woman seems to have been forcibly robotized and now she's about to do the same to the other woman.

Now imagine that the women modeling these robot suits were hypnotized to believe they were robots: to hold poses for 30 minutes at a time, and to move and speak like robots when they did move and speak. The designer might even hide tiny ear buds under the women's headgear that would play a loop of hypnotic mantras. Maybe a recording to be beamed into their earbuds so that they all heard the same commands at the same moment and moved in perfect synch. They might even be able to blink in synch, although you know me: I wish they could wear silver contact lenses and not blink at all. But blinking once every 30 seconds, in synch, would still be pretty hot.

Now, again, let's go further. Imagine hypnotized sex workers who could be programmed as robots, like the models above, or made into anything else a client could imagine. A vampire fetishist could have a hypnotized sex worker who believed the fetishist really was a vampire, and act accordingly. Or - and IMO, this would be one thousand times hotter - the sex worker could be hypnotized, but also a hypnotist herself. Then she could be programmed to believe she was a vampire; and she'd hypnotize her client during their role play until the client really believed s/he was being mind controlled, seduced, bitten, and finally either turned or made into the vampire's "permanent" slave.

So far I've been trying to stick to real-life fantasies, things you could actually pull off if you had the time and the money and a suggestible subject. But just think of how much further we could go if we leave the world of the real. Our hypnotic subjects could be shaved, get full-body silvery tattoos, get corneal tattoos or implants (Those are actually real, and they're creepy as fuck), get other body implants, wear earbuds that chanted mantras and commands 24 hours a day so that they never left trance, be programmed to sleep in glass cases and/or display foam....

I could go on like this for days, I think, but there's at least one idea that I want to save for a future post or maybe even a story. Stay tuned for that one.