Wednesday, January 11, 2017

first an update, then a gentle gift

The update is about the story I'm working on now, which I've temporarily titled "Slavestyles of the Rich and Famous." If I come up with a better title, I'll let you know - or if you suggest something better and I use your suggestion, I'll give you a free copy of the e-book and a shout-out in the credits. If you'd like to brainstorm with me, here's the basic plot. There's an island in the South Pacific that poses as a self-improvement retreat center (and New Age hippie commune, complete with free love sessions every night) for the richest and most famous people in the world. But actually, every aspect of the retreat program is designed to slowly brainwash participants into slaves who will either be auctioned off or, if they're not desirable enough for auction, become recruiters and/or staffer for future retreats. The brainwashing includes giving the slaves a "mask" personality that they can wear in public, making them seem to be their usual selves, so buyers can use them in any way they like. This includes taking them as public lovers, turning politicians into puppets, making athletes throw games - or anything else the buyer can think up. I have a very surprising, scandalous destination in mind for my protagonist. You'll never guess it, but I think you'll love it. It involves the biggest betrayal you can imagine.

All the brainwashing occurs through natural processes like sleep deprivation and plant extracts that legally and naturally induce whatever state of mind a situation requires. Then, once the participants' brains are softened up, they're led trustingly into hypnosis and neurofeedback exercises that erase their wills and personalities. But since the brainwashing doesn't use any illegal drugs or other methods, the island's mysterious "founder" has total deniability. If she were ever investigated, there would be nothing to incriminate her; and if anyone infiltrated a retreat, they'd end up enslaved just like the rest of the participants.

So that's where I'm going with the story, if you decide you'd like to play the title challenge. You just have to post your suggestion in the comments here so that there's no question of who said what first. And remember, this blog is set up to allow totally anonymous comments, so there's no need to reveal your real identity.

And now on to the promised gift. I've been researching biofeedback and neurofeedback videos since I'm using them in the story, and I've just accidentally found a wonderful guided meditation that's not sinister but does wonders for soothing anxiety, OCD, and depression. It really works. I've just listened to it, and although I started in a state of high anxiety, I feel wonderfully calm now - if slightly lightheaded. I'd recommend this video for anyone who struggles with the kinds of problems I have. But in case you're wondering if there are any hidden suggestions in there, I'll try to ease your mind.

1. The video probably uses binaural beats, since the description says it works best if you listen with headphones. I've been using binaural beats for years, to soothe myself when I get anxious, and there's s nothing scary about them, in themselves.
2. My impression is that the video induce a light state of hypnosis, but I never lost track of what the speaker was saying, and nothing he said was in any way inappropriate. He's just teaching you how to control your breathing and to use that as a way to calm yourself when you're struggling with anxiety, depression, or OCD.
3. There is a transcript of the session below the video. It's one of those automatic ones, which means it's not perfect; but it's pretty close and should reassure you that there's nothing suspicious in what the speaker tells you. The transcript includes a few "mms" and "yeahs," but I listened to those parts again after I'd listened to the video, and even with my speakers turned up to full volume I never heard anything like that. The YouTube ttranscription robot must have pulled those sounds out of the music. Again, everything the speaker says is completely appropriate. He's like a really good psychiatrist, soothing and teaching you without doing anything harmful.
4. The video is 42 minutes long, but the speaking stops after about 32 minutes, and then you have the option of either drifting off to sleep or waking up gently. I decided to wake up gently because whenever my thoughts drifted during the presentation, it was usually to think about how I should this video on my blog. But now I'm going to bed, and I expect to rest well.

I might never share anything this uncompromisingly "nice" again, so take advantage while you can...if you want. This video did me a world of good on a very hard day, and it might do the same for you.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Christmas ornament

I'm going on hiatus to enjoy a holiday break (and to see Rogue 1!). See you early in January 2017.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

I think I hypnotized myself for real in a dream

A couple of weeks ago I was taking an afternoon nap, and I had a lucid dream. I'm pretty good at doing that, and if you want to learn how to have a lucid dream, there are lots of YouTube videos that will teach you how. Just don't buy the crap about astral projection.

Well, in this particular lucid dream, I decided that I wanted to act out a hypnosis fantasy. These are usually difficult for me because deep inside, I always know I'm controlling myself. But this time Agnes Zee came to mind - Agnes and her male hypnotist. Of course, normally I'd prefer to be controlled by a female; but Agnes is so hot in trance that I can't help but appreciate the man who sends her there.

I remember a video (which, sadly, seems to have been taken down), where he keeps snapping his fingers and using Agnes' trigger to send her deeper - and to bring her closer and closer to orgasm. She doesn't quite go over the edge, maybe because she doesn't want to do porn - and in fact maybe she took the video down because she decided it was too close to porn. But in this video she comes close to orgasm, so in my lucid dream, I tried to reconstruct what her hypnotist had said, using his words and snapping but my own trigger. And I think I really was hypnotizing myself in that dream, using the man's voice to help me imagine I was under someone else's control.I was also, to put it delicately, experiencing the same sensations as Agnes. Unfortunately, just like her, I didn't reach the finish line. In my dream somebody interrupted me and then I at a daycare center watching over a pack of kids.

But I still have two weird things to relate about this dream. The first is that I got stuck in it so deeply that I couldn't wake up even when I asked people in the dream to slap me. I ended up napping for four hours. I don't know if that's because I hypnotized myself and didn't have anyone to wake me up, or if it was just coincidence.

The second weird thing is that all through the daycare part of the dream, I was gasping for breath. Now, I think I have a bit of sleep apnea, although I've never been tested, but I also think it's mostly under control now. If I dream I'm underwater, I tell myself I can still breathe, and I do; or if I dream I'm about to get swamped by a wave, I tell myself I won't hold my breath until just before it hits me. These techniques seem to work. But in this dream, there was no water, so I had no reason think about holding my breath; and I thought I was out of breath from exercising. I guess in real life I didn't stop breathing, but I was probably breathing very shallowly - and even though I was lucid enough to try to wake up, I wasn't lucid enough to remember my apnea. Weird.

Again, I have no idea whether the length of my nap or my breathlessness was due to hypnosis, but it's something to think about. Anyway, I will try the stunt again if I think about it during a lucid dream. Maybe next time I won't get interrupted.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Vampire mermaids?

I've talked before about my strange fascination with mermaids. I wonder why they play harps that lure men to their death, or why they drag shipwrecked sailors down into the depths to kill htem. What's it all for? Are they just doing it because they can?

I've also talked recently about being on a Lovecraft bender, searching the internet for public-domain stories from his predecessors and contemporaries. I won't weigh you down with a long list of names or links, but I will say that Robert Bloch is by far the best writer in the crowd. (As an aside, I'll also say that, having seen and read lots of Weird Tales stories by now, I'm amazed at what those 30's-era authors and artists got away with. Naked women left and right, just barely disguised sexual imagery in every climax, and gore enough to make Stephen King applaud.)

Well, I wasn't kidding about the vampire mermaids. I've just finished reading a story by Robert Bloch about a sorceress who inhabits the body of an alluring sea-creature, then saps a male victim of his will with repeated dreams and steamy hot kisses (which were no doubt more than kisses, nudge nudge wink wink) so that she can...well, I'll keep that a secret in hopes you'll read the story. I've uploaded the PDF here.

And just to whet your appetites, I'll share this little excerpt where she lures him into a clearly vaginal cave (Notice how he has to squeeze between two jutting points of rock) and sucks a little more of his will away:

The salt breeze blew coldly across his face, and the sea glistened like silver in the moonlight. A faint splash told of a sea-thing that broke the surface of the waters. To the north the sea washed against the rugged surface of the cliff, barred and speckled with black shadows. Dean felt a sudden, inexplicable impulse to move in that direction. He yielded.

As he clambered over the rocks he was suddenly conscious of a strange sensation, as though keen eyes were focused upon him—eyes that watched and warned! Vaguely in his mind rose up the gaunt face of his uncle, Michael Leigh, the deep-set eyes glowing. But swiftly this was gone, and he found himself before a deeper niche of blackness in the cliff face. Into it he knew he must go. He squeezed himself between two jutting points of rock, and found himself in utter, dismal darkness. Yet somehow he was conscious that he was in a cave, and he could hear water lapping nearby. ... He stepped forward, and, as the floor shelved sharply downward, stumbled and fell headlong into icy, shallow water. He felt, rather than saw, a flicker of swift movement, and then abruptly hot lips were pressed against his.

Human lips, Dean thought, at first.

He lay on his side in the chill water, his lips against those responsive ones. He could see nothing, for all was lost in the blackness of the cave. The unearthly lure of those invisible lips thrilled through him.

He responded to them, pressed them fiercely, gave them what they were avidly seeking. The unseen waters crawled against the rocks, whispering warning.

And in that kiss strangeness flooded him. He felt a shock and a tingling go through him, and then a thrill of sudden ecstasy....

Again, if you'd like to read the full story - which is well worth your time - just click here.

Saturday, November 26, 2016


I just found this over on Deviant Art. If you haven't subscribed to this particular poster, you really, really should. Right now.

Ohh, the fantasies I can build around this image!

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Heat and chills

This is a post that grew in the telling (ten points to anyone who gets that reference). I had originally intended to post the first video, and only the first video, two weeks ago. Then I found something better for that weekend; and then last weekend I was as nauseated and terrified as most of the world at certain election results. But let's not talk about that. Here we go with the original video, which is just a fun, hot piece of fluff; and then I'll give you something new and creepy that I just found yesterday.

First up is - warning: controversial opinion ahead - the only scene worth watching in what's supposed to be a camp classic. I tried to watch Barbarella in full. Honestly, I did. But it felt like a Saturday morning kid's TV show with overt sex thrown in, so I kept feeling weirder and more uncomfortable until I had to turn it off. But I did like this scene, where one of the villains tries to torture Barbarella to death with unexpected results. I especially love her exclamation of dismay at the end:

Now here's the creepy second video. Some of you know about a SF anthology series called Black Mirror, which until now was made in the UK (I only saw one episode and loved it, but reviewers everywhere rave about it). Now it's being made in the US and coming to Netflix, so Netflix designed this very...counter-intuitive...promotion for itself: "Hey, you! Forget the rest of the world and be Netflix's zombie slave! You'll love it!" Well, I love it, anyway. Especially that last little bit at the dinner table. Plus, the ad gives me so many, many ideas for corrupting this imaginary technology. I'm sure it will do the same for you: