So...about that Watchmen director's cut DVD review

Well, folks, the short version is that the DVD makers saved all the (current) goodies for the Blu-ray edition, and I don't have a Blu-ray player, so I'm just right out of luck. But I got an e-mail this morning from Callidus telling me some of what I'm missing out on, like the director's commentary and the little frames in the corners of the screen that show you how certain effects were accomplished. Unfortunately, Callidus and I are both missing out on even more goodies, because packaged inside each of our boxes were little flyers advertising a 5-disc "ultimate collectors edition" that will be coming out in December. Fucking marketing leeches. Oh, well, here's my review of the non-Blu-ray edition of the director's cut, along with some screen grabs I've taken from two different scenes and completely out of context, just to give you something to build a few MC fantasies around. And just as a reminder, I've already reviewed the director's cut of the movie itself here and the "Black Freighter"/"Under the Hood" DVD here.

So, what's on the 2-disc director's cut DVD besides the movie? Not a whole hell of a lot - and not a single Easter egg, as far as I could tell. But in order of least interesting to most interesting....

There's the "Desolation Row" video from My Chemical Romance, which you can also find for free on YouTube.

There are 11 video journals of about 3 1/2 minutes each, all of which you can also find on the official movie site. I watched several of them back there, when they first debuted; and I can see that they've been updated a little for the DVD: adding in snippets of scenes that would have been spoilers if they'd appeared online at the time, but that don't matter one way or the other now. So overall, the video journals are sort of "meh," although the one about the Owl Ship features a cute bit where Patrick Wilson tells Zac Snyder that in the Millennium Falcon, you push this lever the other way.

Most interestingly (to me, anyway) is a featurette about the Watchmen graphic novel and how it was adapted for the screen. This isn't just (or even mostly) a "making of" documentary; it really is an homage to the graphic novel. It does an excellent job of explaining the subtleties of the story for people who know they're reading something great but don't entirely get it; and it also helps people like me, who don't understand the finer points of comic art, to see how brilliant Dave Gibbons' illustrations were (BTW, I found a set of annotations for the Watchmen graphic novel online once. They're only so-so, but if you want a glimpse of what you might be missing without buying the DVD, they make a nice start).

Oh, and of course, it's hilarious to watch all the people being interviewed in the featurette and the video logs as they try to tiptoe around the subject of Alan Moore, the writer who famously disowns every movie made from his graphic novels - and justly so, in most cases. And wouldn't Moore be rolling over in his grave* if he knew that the DVD actually starts with an anti-smoking commercial?

*if he were dead ;-P

Just a quickie

Today didn't turn out exactly as I'd planned, but I did get to watch the Watchmen director's cut (no extras yet), and I did finish the rough draft of "My Very Own Serial Number."

I always feel deeply satisfied on finishing a rough draft, but as for you fine people out there, don't get too excited yet. Now I have to let the story simmer for awhile, then taste it again and spice it up as needed. It won't be ready for posting for another week or two.

As for Watchmen, I think I'll wait until I've had the chance to see all the extras before I do a full DVD review; but I'll go ahead and say a little about the director's cut of the movie itself, now.

Most of the additions are just snippets here and there; the only really big new scene is the death of a secondary character. Anyone who's read the graphic novel or followed the movie news will know whom I'm talking about. It's a very powerful scene; and I'm very, very sorry it didn't make it into the theatrical release. It adds so much emotion to the story.

The other additions mostly involved Rorschach, and of course, more of Rorschach is always a good thing.

There were also a couple of new bits involving Laurie and her/Dr. Manhattan's government handlers. You can see that these bits were meant to develop Laurie's character arc a little more, but unfortunately, Malin Akerman is no better an actress on second viewing than on first. It's almost painful, watching her scenes with Patrick Wilson and Billy Crudup. She's like a kitten playing with extremely well behaved pit bulls.

On the other hand, Matthew Goode comes off very slightly better the second time around, and I don't blame him so much for how he played Ozymandias as I blame Zach Snyder. He was the one who made Adrian a floppy-haired fop, and then a (highlight for spoiler text) [stereotypically sneering villain instead of a deeply twisted wannabe-world-savior].

But what I keep coming back to is this: the source material for this movie was so fantastic that a faithful adaptation really can't go that wrong. It's not a perfect movie, but it's still pretty damn awesome, and I'm very glad to have my own copy. I can't wait to explore the extras.

Nostalgic for Watchmen posts?

Sorry, that's a reference only readers of the graphic novel will get. ;-)

Anyway, my DVD's of the Watchmen director's cut and Tales of the Black Freighter/Under the Hood arrived yesterday, and I watched the latter today - saving the best for last, you see. So here are my thoughts on TotBF/UtH. If I get the chance to watch Watchmen tomorrow, I'll probably blog about it tomorrow night. If I don't, you might imagine that I'm busy with my gf, in much the same way Silhouette is busy with that nurse in the image above. ;-P

But back to the DVD.

"Black Freighter" first. Gerard Butler's voiceover is perfect; but you know, I think that as over-the-top lurid as this tale is, it just works better in little hints salted into the overall Watchmen story. Seeing the whole thing laid out in all its gruesome excess is just (pardon the pun) overkill. I guess the most useful thing about it is that it underlines the parallels between BF's protagonist and both Rorschach and Watchmen's main villain (Do I still need to hide that person's identity? *sigh* I suppose I do.) so thickly that only the most gore-crazed teenager could fail to miss them. Hell, they even turned the raft's makeshift sail into a Rorschach blot.

"Under the Hood," on the other hand, is a total delight. Seeing Hollis Mason, Sally Jupiter (rocking an awesome '70's glamor gown), Moloch the Mystic, and others "interviewed" as real people is just fantastic. All these actors were sadly underused in the feature film, but here, they really get to shine. Notice, for instance, how Hollis and Sally both "speak with their hands" - and how Hollis' hands so often speak by hiding his mouth. Nice touch! And an even better touch is the look on Sally's face when the interviewer asks her whether or not it's true that she was assaulted by the Comedian. Her expression doesn't change one whit...and yet it totally transforms. Awesome acting there by Carla Gugino; I swear, I've never understood why she hasn't become a superstar yet. But moving on, we also get to see a bit more of Moloch, both embarrassed by and nostalgic for his past as a supervillain (I love how no one ever once mentions his ears), and also sadly thoughtful about what led to the rise of supervillains - and what might happen next on that particular front.

There's a little bit more on this DVD:

1) a "making of" featurette that's no more or less interesting than such things usually are. If you're the kind of person who enjoys "making of's," then you'll enjoy this one; if not, you won't. I am, so I did. :-)

2) The first chapter of the "Watchmen Motion Comic." I think I managed to sit through about 30 seconds of this. It was dreadful. It looked like someone had just taken all the panels from the graphic novel, made little paper cutouts of the bits they wanted to move, and then jiggled them back and forth a little. Ooooh! "Motion Comic!" Then they gave Rorschach's voiceover to someone about 1/10 as talented as Jackie Earle Haley and added the written text back in on top of it all for who knows what insane reason. Don't bother with this one, really, unless you're into masochism.

But do get the DVD, if only for "Under the Hood." It adds so much to the overall Watchmen story, whether or not you've read the graphic novels. And if you haven't read the graphic novels, then "Tales of the Black Freighter" will have its uses, as well. *shrug* Okay, I suppose "Tales of the Black Freighter" will have its uses for the gore lovers, too.

Anyway, just buy the DVD. It's worth the time and the money.

Intentionally Avoiding a Pun on "Watching the Watchmen"

Or maybe not. ;-)

So anyway, what's my verdict? Pretty damn awesome is my verdict. Not perfect, but pretty damn awesome. This is a movie made by fans of the graphic novel, for fans of the graphic novel. Whether or not anyone else will appreciate it is open to debate, but I certainly proved to myself that I'm more of a fangirl than a critic when it comes to this particular adaptation. So let me see if I can write this review as a fangirl rather than a critic, and tell you some things that you won't hear anywhere else. I'll start with some observations that are appropriate for anyone who might want to see the movie, regardless of whether or not they've read the graphic novel, then follow with a bracketed spoiler section for those who've read the graphic novel and who have heard about the change to the ending. If you skip that section, do stop back in at the bottom of this entry for a few final thoughts. ;-)

Okay, first of all Jackie Earle Haley rocked my world...and Patrick Wilson gently set it back on its axis.

Now, Rorschach is such a meaty character to begin with that I can imagine a number of fine actors who might have nailed the part. But Haley is a particularly fine actor, and his non-movie-star looks work to special advantage here. Plus, he's got that great underdog/comeback-kid story going for him in real life. I was primed to root for him from the start, and he absolutely did not disappoint. His final scene, in particular, will hit you like a punch to the gut. And the prison scenes - hoo boy. Haley is 100% convincing as a brilliant, badass psychopath.


As for Patrick Wilson, he's one of those challenge-taking character actors who don't rely on their good looks, and I've been enjoying him for years in a number of widely divergent roles. Here, he's nicely nerded-up for the early scenes, then masterfully demonstrates how thoroughly a cool costume changes Dan's Dreiberg's persona. The image at left (borrowed from an io9 page stuffed with similar joke Watchmen products, the most hilarious of which is too spoilery to post here) conveys that perfectly. Wilson is the kind of actor who can turn even a simple line about why he named the owl-ship "Archie" into a rich display of character. Damn, I love that man...in a totally platonic way, of course. ;-)

Billy Crudup, too, is his usual awesome self. I like the fact that his Dr. Manhattan voice is still that of the science geek he used to be, for all that he looks like a blue-glowing god with a body that would reduce Conan to jealous tears. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is great as the Comedian, too, capturing him in all his gleefully sadistic, nihilist glory. And Carla Gugino blazes across her limited screen space. Her big scene with the Comedian plays out exactly as it should.

But the other two key players, I'm afraid, are tragically weak links. Matthew Goode is every bit as shallow and foppish as I was afraid he'd be: very definitely not "smartest man in the world" material. Plus, someone really should have hired that boy a dialect coach (assuming they had to hire him to begin with. Damn, they really should have spent the money they saved on special effects to get Jude Law). He can't hold onto an American accent to save his life. Why didn't they just let him use his natural English accent to begin with? After all, it would be just one more bit of stereotyping for a character that the movie already stereotypes too heavily to begin with. Yeah, the graphic novel hints that Ozymandias' sexual energies might not flow strictly AC, but - and let the record show I was the first to notice this Easter egg - not only does the onscreen character come across as moderately flaming, but there's a folder on his computer desktop labeled "boys."

And then there's Latex Laurie. *sigh* What a total fucking waste. Admittedly, Laurie is not the most riveting character in the graphic novel. But an actress of depth could have really done something with her, could have made her more than just "the girl." It absolutely boggles my mind that the same people responsible for casting Haley, Wilson and Crudup apparently just flicked through their résumés of available ingenues and stopped at the first one that said "will do nude scenes." They should have taken a harder look at the actress who played Janey Slater. Now, there was a woman with depth and charisma. I'll have to keep an eye out for her in future films. She did more with her little handful of scenes than Malin Akerman did with two hours and forty-some-odd minutes.

Still, aside from these two glaring character problems, the movie as a whole was excellent. From the moment the final trailer ended and the screen went solid yellow, I felt totally immersed in Alan Moore's alternate 1985 with its rich history of costumed vigilantes and its present of impending nuclear doom. Some reviewers have complained that they couldn't really buy into the threat that plays such a big role in the story because in our real world, the Cold War ended peacefully. To those reviewers I say, if you don't have enough imagination to buy into an alternate-reality story, then you've got no business reviewing it in the first place. Once again, this is a story by SF nerds, for SF nerds.

And I, being an SF nerd, totally bought into it. I imagine most of you have already heard about the fantastic Watchmen opening credits sequence. It sets up this world so perfectly, and condenses so much backstory into so little space. You can find it described in full elsewhere, so I won't go into much detail in this entry. I'll just tell you about my favorite little snippet which, once I buy the extended edition DVD with the "Black Freighter" and "Under the Hood" features and who knows what other goodies, I'll be rewatching and slow-motioning and pausing for days on end.

You know that famous old photograph taken during the celebration of the end of WWII, the one where the sailor dips a nurse backwards into a passionate kiss? Well, picture Silhouette stalking through that crowd of revelers like the proud dominatrix she is, spying the nurse, and closing in with a smirk. The nurse has just a moment to look startled, smitten, and helpless before Silhouette sweeps her into her shiny black arms. Mmmmmm. :-)

And now on to the spoiler section - but don't forget, if you skip this bit, to scroll down for some final parting thoughts.

[Okay, first, the filmmakers allayed my earlier worries about revealing Rorschach's identity too soon; they kept Haley hidden on the fringes of crowds or had him turned so that you couldn't see his face...except for one brief, scary moment in an alleyway. On the other hand, they made almost no effort whatsoever to hide the fact that Ozymandias is the true villain of the piece. He practically has "Bad Guy" tattooed across his forehead, and the fact that they've made him so obviously gay or bisexual just makes this fact even more frustrating. You've probably heard that Zach Snyder's previous film, 300, was both homoerotic and homophobic. Well, I sense some of that homophobia coming out again here - which is especially shameful when you think about all the parallels the graphic novel drew between costumed vigilantism and non-mainstream sexuality.

But I guess what you really want to know about is the change to the ending, eh? As my favorite pic at that io9 link above has it, "Squid not included." Did it matter? Ultimately, no. Let's face it: the squid in the graphic novel did make for several pages of outrageous Lovecraftian horror...but didn't it seem a little out of tune with the rest of the Watchmen universe? Okay, sure, Veidt wanted it to look like something that did come from another universe. But wasn't the whole concept of such a creature too over the top even for "the smartest man in the world" to come up with?

*shrug* I missed seeing the squid, and I thought the nuclear-holocaust-like devastation that replaced it was a bit underwhelming; but intellectually, it made sense, and it didn't change the outcome of the story. Besides, as Snyder has pointed out, keeping the squid would have required a lot of backstory about missing artists and decapitated dead psychics, and the movie already runs nearly three hours. Isn't it better to concentrate on the characters who really matter? Heck, even Hollis Mason's death got cut from the theatrical release, though it'll show up in the extended edition. If that didn't make it into the movie, then surely the shipful of bit characters who get blown to bits would have been a waste of film.]

And now back to spoiler-free territory with a couple of parting thoughts.

First, My Chemical Romance's cover of Bob Dylan's "Desolation Row" plays over the end credits. You might have heard it on the radio, too, or seen the fantastic video. MCR has punked it up just right, but unfortunately that means you can't really make out the lyrics without a cheat sheet. Now, Watchmen graphic novel fans know Alan Moore used a quote from "Desolation Row" as the title of one of his chapters: "At Midnight, All the Agents...." However, there's another line in the song that plays more clearly to my (and I presume your) personal fetishes:

Here comes the blind commissioner
They've got him in a trance
One hand is tied to the tight-rope walker
The other is in his pants

There, isn't that lovely? :-) And I'll leave you with another lovely image: a rather ordinary-looking woman walking out of the theater at dusk after watching a movie about people who get off on having secret identities, getting off on the fact that no one around her knows her secret identity. Her smirk is clear for all the world to see, but no one can interpret it but her.

Wolverine vs. Rorschach

I've seen a few of these before, but I agree with io9: this one's by far the best.

Sorry for those of you on dial-up. Maybe someone will be kind enough to transcribe it for you. ;-P

And as for me, I'm taking a day off work tomorrow to catch an early showing of Watchmen on premiere day. Nobody tell my boss that's why I asked off, okay?

Review over the weekend, plus another "Free Fetish Stuff" post.

Once again, Watchmen saves the day

Once again, I've been saved from wracking my poor, tired brain for a Saturday blog topic by the arrival of fresh Watchmen goodness. Look! Karnak! Dr. Manhattan on the moon! Rorschach in prison getting ready to whup some ass!* Matthew Goode looking, for the very first time, as if he just might possibly be able to convey the depth of Veidt's character (though I still can't help wishing Jude Law had taken the part). And the best part of this link is that even the dial-uppers can enjoy it; it's just pictures. Lots and lots of yummy pictures. :-)

But if you do have high-speed access, you'll also want to check out the new Black Freighter teaser trailer. Ooh, and look who they've got doing the narrator's voice! :-D

*Guess they're not making much of a secret of Rorschach's identity in the movie after all, judging by all the pictures I'm seeing lately of the character unmasked.

Nazi grape smugglers

Sure, I could have used one of the cooler new images from the upcoming Watchmen movie; but really, why would I want to? ;-)

Check io9 for a gallery and links to more pics - including Nite Owl II in truly awesome snow gear and the hottest shot of Latex Laurie yet. In fact, I might have to make that one my new desktop wallpaper. :-)

Some slightly more on-topic pics tomorrow, I promise. ;-)

EDIT: After I posted the above, I found even more pics - including a beaten-but-unbowed Rorschach in prison garb here. Better take a look now before the lawyers notice!

still spasming and 'gasming

Here are the latest goodies I've found on io9: two Watchmen videos I've never seen before, though one is quite old. Both offer all kinds of tantalizing glimpses of things we haven't seen elsewhere.

The older one is most notable for giving us our first glimpse of Rorschach unmasked (Warning to folks who haven't read the graphic novel: You really don't want this surprise spoiled, so either don't watch this video, or else close your eyes from the one-minute mark to the 1:22 mark. And yes, I promise you that Jackie Earle Haley is well-made-up enough that you probably won't recognize him in the movie even if you know his face).

The latter video, I'd say, is most notable for a) convincing us that chiseled Patrick Wilson really can pull off the dweeby look of a gone-to-seed Dan Dreiberg, and b) getting President Kennedy to shake hands with Dr. Manhattan.

Directly below are the two videos, oldest first (Again, that's the one with the unmasked Rorschach, so beware). And then, because I'm still in such a festive mood from the holidays - and because I have some time off work to devote to this kind of geeky shit - below the videos are eighteen stills from the two of them combined for those of you still consigned to dial-up. You're welcome. ;-)



Watchmen Exclusive

Gaiman's Law of Superhero Films

Judging by my recent stats, most of you fine folk are either a) off for the holidays or b) too busy partying to surf the net or c) both, so I'm taking it easy on the blogging this weekend. Depending on whether or not a story I was asked to proof gets posted in the next EMCSA update, you might or might not find a new author recommendation from me late Sunday. In the meantime, I'll just point you toward Neil Gaiman's delightful musings about Watchmen, Batman, and what makes a great superhero movie.

Oooh, oooooh, oooooooooh!

I'm too tired to grab you any screencaps tonight, but head over to io9 for a truly geek-gasmic new Watchmen trailer, including shots of Richard Nixon, Moloch the Mystic, a dead Dollar Bill, and lots of fantastic footage of Rorschach's mask morphing.

Oh, and BTW, all the goodies are in the first clip, the second is just a reshuffling of footage from the older trailers.

More tasty treats from io9 to come tomorrow; I have another post timed to hit the web at 12:00 noon, EST. Of course, if you spend any time browsing the site beyond your Watchmen visit, you might already have seen it for yourself, by then. Oh, well.

Nighty-night.

Heads up!

First, my Reader's Picks page on the EMCSA is now updated.

Second, remember that horrible David Lynch adaptation of Dune? Well, things could have been a whole lot worse.

And lastly, just in case you've been living in a cave for the last week or two, there's a new Watchmen trailer available with 100% less Lower Manhattan and 100% more drama. I understand some folks are complaining about the use of the name "Watchmen" for the second-generation vigilante team; but my only real gripe is that the silhouette of the Comedian's killer looks a bit too well-defined to properly preserve the mystery.

Latex Laurie to the rescue!

The original subject I had planned for my Wednesday blog entry was a "Peek Beneath the Duct Tape" on my trio of collaborations with Tabico and trilby else; but to be perfectly honest, I haven't had a chance to write a word about any of them yet. Fortunately, I just stumbled across a cache of fantastic new Watchmen posters, including the best shot yet of Laurie and a little commentary from Malin Akerman on how it felt to be encased in all that yummy latex. Just click the pic for all the details, but WARNING: clicking the thumbnails on the "Laurie" page takes you not only to larger versions of the posters but also to five different articles from five different sources with tidbits about the movie - and one of those tidbits includes both MAJOR SPOILERS for anyone who hasn't read the graphic novel and a relatively minor movie spoiler for those of you who have read the novel. So, if you want to read every article but the one I'm hinting about, just highlight the spoiler text inside these brackets: [Ozymandias (the guy in purple)]. Otherwise, read all or none as you please. :-)

Quite some time ago I told both my collaborators about my blogging intentions and offered them the chance to participate; but trilby told me he prefers, as usual, to remain in the shadows; and I haven't heard back from Tabico in so long that I can only assume she feels the same. So, Tabs, if you're reading this and really do want to contribute, this is your last chance! ;-P The non-collaborative Peek about collaborating is now planned for Saturday.

Hey, look! It's Gay Superman!

Remember that link I gave you Friday to the io9 page of noir-ish poster art for Watchmen? Well, I ended up following the link from there back to the artist's gallery at (of course) Deviant Art. While I was disappointed by his cheerful rah-rah Republicanism, I did find many more pictures worth looking at, including these three:




There are also plenty of other pictures to enjoy, as well, including several more noir-type Watchmen and superheroes shots. It's worth a look. Just try not to giggle too hard at his take on Sarah Palin.

Hilarious near-blasphemy

Watchmen fanatics, prepare yourselves to have your deepest fantasies joined to your darkest nightmares, then turned against you with the kind of brain-blasting rush you-know-who could only dream of inflicting:

Now here's a little something to get that nasty Love taste out of your mouth

At long last, Warner Brothers has seen fit to give us a behind-the-scenes Watchmen video that's actually worth watching, even for those of you on dial-up. Want a bunch of long, lingering shots of Sally Jupiter in her heyday and in her boozy old age? How about Latex Laurie kicking major ass in the prison fight scene? Interviews with both actresses and some brief but intriguing glimpses of several other characters? Well, look no further, my friends.

Of course, if you're a dial-upper and really, really can't be bothered to wait for the download (even though I promise you it's worth it), at least you can see a couple of nice shots of the young and old Sally here. All hail io9!

EDIT: I can't figure out how to stop the video from starting automatically; and since it's already getting on my nerves, I figure it probably annoys most of you, as well. Therefore, I've removed the embedded object. You can now find the video simply by following this link to io9. You're welcome. ;-P

Now here are a couple more "money" shots to further entice you, if you still need enticing. Believe me, after seeing this video clip, you will be in love with Laurie and with Malin Akerman and Carla Gugino - and that's even if you haven't read the graphic novel.



Oh, and then there's this: a couple of fantastic noir-style Watchmen posters with a bonus of Spiderman, Batman, and a piece of billion-dollar dreck that I don't deign to name in the same sentence as the Great Ones.

*sigh* the things people find to obsess about

Of course you can see Dr. Manhattan's junk in the Watchmen trailer! Would anyone who's read the graphic novel have expected any less?

Anyway, the headline and some of the commentary are rather amusing.

Also, I see from this story that MTV now has an HD version of the trailer, so I'll update my links and pics in the post further down the page.

Watchmen watchers, this is for you

Well, I guess if you're really serious about following the latest Watchmen movie news, you've probably at least heard about and maybe already seen and/or recorded the latest leaked footage. Me, I found it just now on io9, then followed an AICN link to a YouTube version for the sake of comparison. The io9 version is bigger and better, so if you haven't seen it yet, go there. EDIT: Strike that. Go to MTV.com for the HD version.

As for those of you on dial-up who want to know if it's worth the load time, I can tell you this: the new trailer is 1:48 in length and is about half-and-half old footage vs. new - the latter of which includes more of Latex Laurie in action, a glimpse of (I assume) Karnak hanging on the edge of an icy cliff face, Dr. Manhattan disassembling a tank with a wave of his hand, and a couple of great shots of Rorschachian acrobatics. But the best part is how the trailer closes: a fantastic slow-motion look at the Comedian's death plunge.

Here are a few screen grabs just to whet your appetites a little further (new versions now from the HD trailer):

Lovely Latex Legs...with a Story

This is the first picture posted online of Silk Spectre II, a character from the upcoming Watchmen movie, for which I have very high hopes. It's directed by the guy who did 300 and is adapted from a graphic novel so highly acclaimed that no less a source than Time Magazine listed it among its "100 Best English-Language Novels."

Just a brief little synopsis for those unfamiliar with the source material: Watchmen is a deconstruction of the superhero myth, getting inside the (often quite twisted) heads of a number of costumed vigilantes, only one of whom has actual superpowers. Silk Spectre II is the daughter of a late '30's/early '40's-era crimefighter who used her looks and charisma to become something of a celebrity and groomed her daughter Laurie to follow in her footsteps. You can see pictures of both of them, and of the other lead characters, here; and view a fantastic-looking trailer here.

The costume designers for the movie have updated Laurie's look quite a bit; but I must say, I don't mind at all. ;-)

I am very much looking forward to this movie.