A Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: Spy vs. Guy

Hmm, where to start? Should I begin by reminding you that my model for Guy in Spy vs. Guy is the same fellow I used for Finvarra in Ethna Redux, fetish model Perish (Click the pic for a link to his Model Mayhem gallery)? Or should I begin by telling you that I haven't had this much sheer fun writing an EMC story since Solitaire? Gay men are always a blast to hang out with.

How about detailing all the trouble I went to, trying to find the right sort of EMC fetishists to proof me on my m/m sex scenes, before finally turning to two long-time friends from entirely outside the EMC community? I've done my best to reward the two of them, both with thank-you's in the credits and by addressing their various requests/concerns in the bulk of the story. The slash fan asked if I could let her favorite couple in on the fun, which I did (disguised, of course); and Jordan's "boner" gave my usually-blasé orc pal a literal case of the willies, so I added a "P.S." at the bottom of Chapter One to reassure my male readers that no, it really didn't hurt at all. Certainly not like this would, anyway. ;-P

Speaking of Jordan, I'm sure any of you who've seen The Crying Game know exactly where I got the idea for his big reveal. Oh, and if you happen to like Jaye Davidson (as I certainly do!), you might enjoy this lovely pic.

But there's so much more to this story, so many little geeky references and in-jokes that you might or might not get. The Monty Python and Star Wars shout-outs are pretty obvious, but I wonder how many of you will catch the nod to Stephen King or to the Village People's second-best-known song, much less the "I see your schwartz is as big as mine" moment. ;-) Then again, I suppose many of you are young enough (or Mad-illiterate enough) to miss the significance of the title itself. :-/

I've already discussed the origins of this story in an older post, so I won't repeat myself here. I'll just note the add-on's that occurred to me as I was writing, like the symbolic possibilities of the Samson and Hercules stories (Each of those scenes is "real," though obviously twisted to suit my purposes), and the Freudian connotations of various weapons - which I also played with in "Ethna Redux," as I do hope some of you noticed.

I also toyed with including Jacob's sexy tussle with that angel - it's always seemed to me that the angel let him win, as proven by how easily it disabled him in the end with just a touch - but I ditched that idea before writing a word of it; it was just too much for the story to take. I did, however, sneak in another crypto-homo-biblical reference split into halves, just to make it a little tricker to spot...though I do hope some of you will spot it. I like to add the occasional Easter egg to my stories; unfortunately, sometimes they're so subtle that no one catches them at all (as in Queen Bee Becomes a Drone - I'm really going to have to go back and spell that one out one of these days. In the meantime, please, someone let me know you figured out Morgaine's real identity!).

The design of Wylde's retreat was one of those happy cases where my subconscious did a lot of the work for me, and my conscious only twigged to what was going on toward the end. For those of you unfamiliar with the symbolism of houses (especially in dreams), they signify the totality of a person's soul or self or whatever you want to call it. I didn't realize at first just how appropriate it was that the upper levels of Guy's home are all bright and shiny; while below ground, it's pretty damn freaky. You can thank H.R. Giger for that - and yes, Wylde's sort-of throne in the third chapter is a Harkonnen Chair.

Now, about that ending. Yes, that's two open-ended conclusions in a row for me - though judging by the responses to "Ethna Redux," I'm not sure how open-ended some of you realized that one really was. Both of these stories feature The Lady or the Tiger scenarios, which should be familiar to anyone who grew up in the American school system, at least. I have no idea about the curriculum of other countries.

Then again, maybe "Spy vs. Guy" isn't quite as open-ended as it looks from outside my head. Jacob and the Angel weren't all that got left on the cutting room floor; I had also designed a seal for Wylde, LLC, which would have been a stylized lion's head with the motto split in half above and below the image: "Flexible Ethics - For the Greater Good." Besides, Guy's merry band of brainwashers just ended up being too nice to be true bad guys. Not that I didn't try to make them a bit more sinister in the final scene, but...well, you know. ;-)

A love letter...to the Internet

When I was a kid (back in the olden days when everyone had to walk ten miles to school - uphill, both ways, in the snow) I lived in a small, narrow-minded Southern town where I always felt like an outsider even without knowing I was a lesbian. I loved science fiction and fantasy - and Dungeons and Dragons, which I could never find a group to play with. The only other person I knew who was interested in the game bragged about himself and his buddies making up "Jason Voorhees monsters" and things like that, but he politely declined my request to join in on the fun. I guess I was either too girly or too goody-goody for him, or possibly both. Anyway, I finally bought my own game and roped in a few half-hearted friends to give it a try. I brought them to the door of the dungeon and told them it was locked, upon which they spent a good ten minutes arguing about what to do (Yes, they did have a thief) before finally deciding to burn the door down. That tells you all you need to know about that little experiment.

Computers were just becoming commonplace when I entered college, but I wasn't much interested because I was still all about books and writing, my only escapes from a boring, whitebread life in which I never really felt like I belonged. I remained uninterested in computers until a night somewhere in the mid-nineties, when I asked a friend to introduce me to the Internet. At first he showed me sites dealing with all the usual, boring kinds of stuff I hated about real life; but eventually he thought to teach me about Yahoo (There was no Google then), and that led to the discovery of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to Star Trek," my first indication that there was a wider world of people like me out there, and I could finally reach them. (BTW, that parody is still online after all these years, if you're curious: Part 1, Part 2.)

It literally changed my life. Now, at last, I have friends I can be myself with, friends with whom I can talk about the things that really interest me instead of pretending to be interested in the things "normal" people always go on about. The fact that these friends are in different states or different countries or even on different continents just makes it that much more exciting. Even after all these years, I still get a geeky little thrill from the fact that I can talk to someone in the UK or Brazil or New Zealand. Just seeing their different turns of phrases or different spellings is a constant reminder that I'm communicating with people who live on the other side of the freaking planet. And when I finally get to meet them (as I've done with quite a number of friends in my other Internet life), there's such a rush of warmth and excitement and recognition, with none of the awkwardness that characterizes much of my dealings with the people I interact with in daily life. It's just amazing.

I know the Internet is a double-edged sword. It can be used to disseminate hate and misinformation just as easily as it can bring people together. But overall, I see it as a vastly positive force in the world. Just think: if I'd had access to the 'net as a kid, I wouldn't have spent so many years feeling like an outcast weirdo. I might not have been suicidally depressed as a teenager. I might have learned a couple of decades earlier that sexual minorities are just regular people who deserve the same rights and respect as everyone else. Hell, I might have learned I was a sexual minority a couple of decades earlier.

Growing up when I did, where I did, I was only given one way to see the world. Kids growing up today in that very same town (which honestly hasn't changed much in 20+ years) aren't limited to that small town like I was. If they're SF/fantasy geeks, they can find hundreds of like-minded friends online - and play those role-playing games as often as they want, with as many people as they want. If they're sexual minorities and being persecuted in real life, they can find support and encouragement online from people all over the planet. If they question the religious beliefs they've been brought up with, they can explore alternatives and ask the questions they don't dare ask in real life. Or even if they aren't sexual minorities or questioning their faith themselves, their online involvement will expose them to people who are; and in the long run, I believe that will lead to greater understanding and tolerance for all of us.

All hail the Internet!

A Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: Ethna Redux

I was first introduced to the ancient Irish fairy tale of "Ethna the Bride" through an e-mail conversation that veered from Oscar Wilde to supernatural MC and back to Oscar's fairy-tale-writing mother, Lady Wilde. Her version of the story, for any of you that haven't gotten around to reading it yet, is here.

My first thought, on reading Lady Wilde's version, was, "Wow, those mysterious mid-air voices were almost too helpful, weren't they?" And close behind that came, "I wonder if Ethna was really all that glad to be rescued from a life of ecstatic, immortal slavery."

Then, of course, my authorial gears started turning. It didn't take me long to wonder if there might be some other fairy close to Finvarra - a wife, perhaps - who could take an interest in Ethna and steal her back again, this time for good. So I did some online research; and lo and behold, I discovered that not only did Finvarra have a wife, but she was a goddess! Even better, she had her own separate fairy mound far, far away from her husband's.

At first I thought Oonagh's mound was Knocksheegowna, an actual mountain on the far side of Ireland from Knockma. You can imagine how that tickled me. I even found a lovely panoramic image of the view from the summit here, which I can't resist sharing even now that I know it's not Oonagh's mound, just because it's so lovely. I wrote the first draft of Ethna Redux with Kerovan confronting Oonagh at Knocksheegowna, so it's a good thing I had sara castle to fact-check me (and a good thing I had Lady K to catch another embarassing error). Damn, what a difference a single letter makes! Oonagh's actual mound, Knockshegowna (with one "e") is in Tipperary and is, in fact, only a couple of hundred feet taller than Knockma. But hey, at least it is taller. ;-)

As I said in a previous entry, I modeled Finvarra in large part on Cluracan as depicted by Neil Gaiman in the Sandman series, and also on fetish model Perish. There's also a hint of the Galadriel-Celeborn dynamic in Finvarra's relationship with Oonagh. I've always had the idea, in reading The Lord of the Rings, that Tolkien wanted to give Galadriel a mate who was her equal; but he just couldn't do it. Galadriel is just too glorious to have any equal. Celeborn comes across as a mere hanger-on.

As for Oonagh, details online were scant, but I used everything I could find: the hair, the rainbows, the dewdrop gown - even her reputation for devotion, though I had to pervert that one a bit. ;-) Unfortunately, I couldn't find any images of her that weren't a) inaccurate, b) incredibly cheesy, or c) both; so you'll have to content yourself with the painting of the legendary Celtic queen Medb (a.k.a. Maeve) at left above. I actually did have this image in mind when I wrote the "Bride, meet wife" scene. Medb's attitude here is pretty much what I imagine Oonagh's to have been, and Medb was famously insatiable in bed.

Interestingly enough, Medb is said to be buried atop Finvarra's mound. Funny how these things work out.

And now for Kerovan. First of all, I dredged his name from another, longer version of the Ethna story that I found during my online research. This version is incomplete because it's just excerpts from a book Google is trying to sell you; but if you're interested in having a peek, click here. Anyway, I didn't find anything else in this version that I wanted to use besides the hero's name; the rest of it was just too sappy.

But again, about that hero....Once I really delved into the story, I found myself admiring Kerovan too much to just dump him by the side of the road like I do with most of my other so-called heroes. Kerovan is the real deal. He's very much a product of his time; but he's a good, brave man who will go to any lengths necessary to free Ethna from slavery. He just doesn't understand that slavery is what she really wants.

Oh, and by the way, that's not something I made up for the story just because I liked the idea. You can see Ethna's essential passivity even in Lady Wilde's version of the tale. In fact, she's so passive that I had a hard time making a heroine of her at all, though I did my best. Just as I did with Kerovan. That's why I left his final decision entirely in your hands. Whatever you want for him is what he gets. He deserves it.

*tap tap* Is this thing on?

Ah, good. The sound check is complete and now it's time for the interview! Callidus has been kind enough to give me another chance to hog the spotlight, and he's asked some pretty interesting questions. I think you'll enjoy the results. If you do, be sure to drop him and me both a line!

A Peek Beneath the Duct Tape with Guest Star Tabico

All right, folks, it's time for the less mysterious of my co-conspirators to weigh on our two collaborations. Take it away, Tabico!

I have the memory of a balsa wood elephant, but there are a few moments from my lengthy engagement in this genre that still stand out. One of them was that first week when Spellbound appeared. It was short, sharp, and awesome, and I knew immediately that a new top-shelf talent had appeared in our midst. I didn't know if she would continue to write - Alphax, another best-of-breed storyteller, has only two short pieces to his credit - but I saw right then at that moment that something had dawned.

So later when thrall suggested a collaboration, I was fully on board. I don't recall now (remember the elephant) what sequence of events led to the suggestion, or even for certain that she brought it up, but I'm fairly sure she did. At that point I had already worked with Iago once, and been ecstatic at what we had produced despite an almost complete lack of any subsequent fanmail. The process as well as the product had been really good, so despite the fact that In Darkness Bound totally bombed at the MC Box office, I was ready to give a collaborative work another go.

I don't recall how spiders came up. I do recall, quite distinctly, that thrall had a mental image she wanted to go with, of a mummified figure with cobwebs over her mouth, the cobwebs moving in and out with her breath. I'm into transformations and monster-women, so the half-human half-spider figures are probably from my imagination.

Arachnae turned out well; not genre-defining, but a good yarn with some punch. Moreover, the process of creating it worked well and was fun. In short, we batted the plot back and forth, each picked different sections to write - and free-edited, meaning that we rewrote each other's work as though it were our own.

It's a tricky recipe, that last part, but as I had with Iago, thrall and I hit just the right balance of respect for one another's work and lack of ego when our own stuff was polished. So it was a good experience.

Later on we did Salvation. I recall even less about that effort, but it was also a fun activity. Somehow we missed the mark a bit there - I secretly (well, not so secretly now, eh?) think that "Salvation" although both good and fun could have been really earth-shaking, and wonder what I or we could have done to make it so. The elements are there - the brilliant concept of the slave being rescued who turns the tables on her rescuers. The hot element of the freed slave, now rescuer, who is lured back into slavery. Somehow, though, we missed some element, some tone, that would have made it more molten.

But I regret nothing.

I've prompted thrall a few times (twice, I think) since then about maybe doing something else together, but the time wasn't right or maybe my suggestions just failed to light a fire. In any case, my genre writing has slowed down a bunch. More recently thought hers has increased, (particularly if you take the blog into account), so perhaps there's hope. I still think that, if we could just get exactly the right ingredients, we could write something that people would be talking about years from now.

A Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: My Collaborations with Tabico and trilby else

To date, I've written three collaborative pieces for the EMCSA: two with Tabico and one with trilby else (I don't count the Quick and Dirty Anthology as a collaboration, since each chapter was written separately by a different author; and anyway, I'm not allowed to say much about that ;-P), and each collaboration was lots of fun. Of course, it helps that Tabico and trilby are my two favorite authors on the EMCSA; and our styles and kinks mesh well enough that we were able to create stories that, IMO, come across as seamless wholes rather than pieces of Frankensteinian patchwork.

Each story came about under very different circumstances. I'll tell you a bit about all three now, and Tabico plans to stop by later with her own thoughts, perhaps as early as tomorrow. Stay tuned.

My first collaboration was on Arachnae, or the Icky-Squicky Spider (Tabico and I couldn't agree on a title, so we used both of our ideas. Guess which one was mine. ;-P). It began with my reading Tabico's Adaptation, at the end of which she expressed an interest in squick and wondered if anyone else out there felt the same. She and I had already exchanged a number of e-mails, and as a matter of fact, I was privately toying with the idea of MC by spider bite; so I suggested a collaboration. I didn't have anything like a coherent plot in mind when I wrote her; I was just fascinated by the idea of being so deeply enthralled by something abhorrent that you end up reveling in what should send you screaming. Well, Tabico took that idea and ran with it, quickly coming up with the alien spider queen concept, which allowed for all the variations on freaky bondage and body modifications that we both enjoy so much. We worked up the overall plot together and divided the sections pretty evenly, with one of us taking all but one of the above-ground scenes and one of us taking all but one of the below-ground scenes. I won't spell it out for you, but if you've read much of our writing or know anything about our backgrounds, that's probably enough to tell you who wrote which bits. ;-)

I can't remember which of us was the first to suggest a second collaboration, but I do remember that I'd recently had a dream that gave us an excellent starting point. I dreamed I was a brainwashed slave trying to prevent intruders from taking over my Mistress' compound. There wasn't much more to it than that, but on waking, I was intrigued by the notion of a slave molded for helplessness and passivity being all that stood between her Mistress and victory for her Mistress' enemies - which would have been victory for the slave, as well, if only she'd been in a position to appreciate it. As before, the division of work on Salvation was pretty equal; but this time we swapped off in the middle of scenes as well as between scenes. As a result, when I went back to reread the story a few months ago, even I couldn't remember which of us had written certain sections (though I do recall that Tabico wrote the opening and I wrote the close). I guess that's a testament to how well our styles meshed.

The situation with trilby else was a bit different. As I've said before, he likes to stay in the shadows (a great place from which to snark, I might add) and had never collaborated with anyone else. As a matter of fact, I'd broached the idea to him at least a couple of times before, but he'd always responded with a polite "Thanks, but no thanks." Then I hit a rough patch in a number of different ways; and suddenly there was trilby, offering me a collaboration as, I guess, a way of cheering me up. Unfortunately, that rough patch extended to my creativity, and I'm afraid most of the best bits of Goldilocks are his. I did come up with the basic idea of a woman stumbling onto long-abandoned alien technology and MC'ing herself with no one to rescue her, but trilby was the one who really fleshed it out. I hadn't even thought of setting it in the future, on another planet; I just had a sort of vague, Tommyknockers-ish idea of a unearthed spaceship or secret silo or something, somewhere on earth.

Then there was the matter of names. Idris' ship took its name from a way-beyond-cool William Gibson heroine (trilby's idea, but I recommended the book to him ;-)). When it came time for a story title, of course we had to use just a single word, since that's a trilby else signature. Our first idea was "Bauble," but then he happened to mention Goldilocks in passing, and a little light bulb went off in my head. He liked the idea, too, so there you go. Much easier to name than the spider story. ;-)

Looking back on my three collaborations, I can't help noticing that though the actual work was either evenly divided (with the first two) or more heavily shouldered by the other person (with the last), all three ideas began in my head. I don't know if that's coincidence or if there's more to it than that. Certainly, I'm not the kind of author who can be handed someone else's suggestion and dash off a story just like that - not most of the time, anyway. So don't hold your breath waiting for me to contribute to any other anthologies. But if someone whose work I respected and whose style meshed with my own offered up the right idea, it could conceivably strike a spark in my head. Who knows? I wouldn't rule anything out.

Anyway, collaborating - with the right partner - can be terrific fun. I highly recommend it.

A Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: Solitaire

But first, some good news for those of you who were reluctant to download those RTF previews of Willing Subject and What Do You Give the Man Who Has Everything?: the updates are now online. Unfortunately, it's going to be another week before Simon can post "A Tenpack of Trixies," so you're stuck with the RTF files on that one a little longer.

At the same time I send Simon the five Trixie chapters, I also plan to send him a new tweak on Solitaire; but I must admit that when I looked it over again recently, I only felt the need to change a handful of words. My Muse and I were really going at it hot and heavy that day in a way I've only experienced once before - and that wasn't in writing erotica (though it did involve some MC - tease, tease). I came up with the idea for "Solitaire" one morning (probably after spending a long time the previous night really playing it), sat down to write that afternoon, and had the whole piece finished before sundown. You might say, continuing the Greek goddess analogy, that it sprang full-blown from my head onto the screen.

Of course, I was influenced by several other stories in writing this one, including one by a writer sadly no longer active on the EMCSA. Thank goodness for the Wayback Machine - and thank goodness Sara H herself has returned, even if she's not quite up to writing yet. Sara, if you're reading this, here's a virtual hug and a genuine "Glad to have you back." EDIT: Sara is fully back now, stories and all. You can find "Hiss" on the EMCSA here.

Anyway, at the time I wrote "Solitaire," I was still reveling in the newness of finding a fetish home on the web and reading everything I could get my greedy little eyeballs on. I also really was playing a lot of Solitaire and Freecell while writing as a sort of cybernetic alternative to tapping a pencil against my teeth in thought. Such simple games, but they really do suck you in - and zone you out. It really is true, as I say in the story, that we can fall into a low-grade trance while focusing on a simple task; it's happened to me countless times, especially with computer games. It's like that demanding king who follows you with his eyes (in Freecell, actually, not Solitaire) really does force you to keep playing game after game after game. I used to love that feeling of half wanting to stop and not quite being able to pull myself away from the screen.

But of course, my favorite part of the story is the latter half, when the narrator is transformed into a mindless, shiny black robot with a number (and not even a unique one, at that) where her face used to be. I've always been fascinated with the idea of depersonalization...okay, well, I've always been extremely turned on by the idea of depersonalization. Taking everything that makes a human being an individual, right down to her/his face and fingerprints, and erasing it completely - that, to me, is the hottest aspect of mind control. Adding a slick, black layer of fetishy goodness is really just icing on the cake; but such yummy icing it is.

Then there's the bit about the mouse - the whole reason (as if you couldn't guess) I added a "Don't try this at home" warning at the top of the story. It seems ridiculous to think I'd have to issue a warning about something as obvious as that, but there's a reason gas stations have signs advising people not to suction gas with their mouths, and that a milk carton I saw once in Wales (Hi, sc ;-)) bore a label saying, "Warning: contains milk." Some people are just stupid enough to need such warnings, and I will accept no responsibility for anyone who ends up in some emergency room somewhere with a computer mouse jammed inside an orifice not designed to handle it. But I do still think it's a cool idea. The female anatomy just makes such a perfect computer port, doesn't it?

Another Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: Willing Subject

I have a lot of MC dreams; unfortunately, I don't have a lot of satisfying MC dreams. Most often, I find myself wandering around in a semi-trance looking for my Mistress, who never shows up to give me actual commands. I don't know why my subconscious mind can't seem to generate a decent domme; my conscious mind certainly doesn't have that problem! Maybe someone out there with a better understanding of dream psychology than I have can help me figure it out.

Anyway, it was one of those unsatisfying dreams that gave me my jumping-off point for Willing Subject. I was wandering bleak, puddled streets at night, endlessly searching for the woman I wanted to control me but never seeing another living soul. Upon waking, I realized it might be fun to build a story around someone who wants to be enthralled right from the start, but who has to "earn" her slavery through a long and arduous quest (trilby else started a similar story once upon a time but never finished it. I still pick at him about that sometimes.)

Well, once I had the idea in my head, I didn't have much trouble fleshing it out with personal fantasies and events from my real life story. I've been to several hypnosis shows, some in college and some afterwards. Unfortunately, unlike Missy, I never found the courage to go up onstage because (as I told Sara Castle in an interview not long ago) it would have felt too much like stripping naked in front of a bunch of strangers. But boy, was I tempted - especially when some of my sorority sisters got up there and I saw how much fun they were having.

Yes, I was in a sorority - and yes, more than one of my sisters was named "Missy." But please don't get the wrong idea about me. I've never been part of the popular crowd and would never even have considered pledging a sorority at most schools...nor, most likely, would any sorority have pledged me. But the situation was a bit different at my college; all kinds of people joined the Greek system, not just your typical golden girls and boys. Yet even there, my sorority was pretty much the Omega Mu of the campus - which is especially funny when you consider that, nationwide, it's one of the most popular. And which one was it? Sorry, but I'm not going to tell you...though perhaps you can figure it out from the one genuine big clue I dropped in amidst the red herrings.

Anyway, suffice it to say that I know what it's like to be part of a group that concerns itself heavily with public image. There are so many things you can and can't do, especially when you're wearing the letters. Partying yourself into a stupor is just fine, of course, as is sleeping around - as long as you don't get caught doing it in public. But I can just imagine the reaction I would have caused if I'd marched across campus like m did, bound and pierced and totally expressionless; then jilled off in a professor's class and on top of the administration building. Mmm, even the thought of it now has me grinning and sighing wistfully. ;-)

Aside from Karen in Mirrored in Your Eyes, Missy/melissa/m is closer to the real me than any other heroine in any of my stories. Night after night, I seek unsuccessfully after my perfect domme. My fictional alter-ego just found her for me.

Another Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: "Octopus Vulgaris"

First, a quick note about the title: Octopus vulgaris is the official scientific name of the common octopus; once I learned that, I knew I'd never find a more perfect title.

As for the story itself, if you've been reading my blog, you know it was inspired primarily by several pictures from the Cthulhu Lhust list on Model Mayhem - which was, in turn, inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft. It's not necessary for you to have read any of Lovecraft's short stories to enjoy "Octopus Vulgaris," but if you know a bit about the Cthulhu mythos, you can appreciate my story on a deeper level. If you're interested in learning more, this Wikipedia article is a good primer.

As you can see, I'm playing pretty fast and loose with the original material, but let's face it: for the most part Lovecraft tended to ignore females, both human and nonhuman, in his stories. And considering what a big stick he had up his ass about race, I shudder to think what he would have thought about sexual minorities. So naturally, I had to make a few...tweaks...to fashion a Cthulhu mythos story suitable for my particular audience.

I also took inspiration from a number of other sources:

• Megan's beach house is a slightly fancier version of one I actually stayed in as a child. I only realized after I started writing that its octagonal shape made it that much more perfect for my story.
  
• The scrapbooking bit arose from a series of reunions I've had in recent years with some college friends, two of whom had developed an interest in scrapbooking and who dragged the rest of us, much against our will, into a scrapbooking store once and only once. And yes, I did titillate those friends with the news that I wrote fetish erotica and posted it online. But you know me; I absolutely refused to provide details or a URL. They're still wondering today. ;-)
  
• The barroom flirtation was inspired by a scene from Kissing Jessica Stein, which played much cuter than mine and which concluded, as you can imagine, rather differently. Still, in the long run, I think the men in my story ended up more satisfied than the ones in Jessica's. ;-)
  
• Clark Ashton Smith was a friend and contemporary of Lovecraft's who, like many of Lovecraft's friends, adopted and expanded the Cthulhu mythos in his own works. In fact, I actually discovered him several years before I discovered HPL. The Abominations of Yondo is a real book that I loved as a teen, though I have no idea whether or not it would hold up to my adult scrutiny. I had to use Wikipedia to remind myself of the story titles and this page to reconstruct the cover I remembered. Anyway, if you're interested, I've discovered that pretty much Smith's entire oeuvre is now available online at The Eldritch Dark. One of these days, I'm going to check back in there and see if I still like him as much as I used to. If you get there before me, let me know what you think.
  
• I had only decided on earth's ultimate fate a few seconds before I remembered that Peter F. Hamilton used a similar plot device in a six-book SF epic called the "Night's Dawn" series. Now I have no idea whether I came up with my version on my own or whether I was subliminally influenced by Hamilton. Don't you hate it when that happens? Anyway, if you're interested, the books are very much worth reading even though Hamilton isn't very gay-friendly. The only non-straight characters in his entire vast universe are the 27th-century version of Satanists. :-/
  
• Now here are a handful of odds and ends that weren't cool enough to post as Tentacular Teases but which did aid me in my research and which you might enjoy if you have a few minutes to spare: a photo of strands of octopus eggs,a video of an octopus chasing down and eating a crab, then inking, a video of - no kidding - the Vampire Squid from Hell (okay, so it's not an octopus, but it's still a very cool video once you get past all the annoying title cards). As for the reverse-giraffe look Howard sports in one scene, I honestly did see a picture of an octopus with that pattern; but I can't for the life of me find it anymore. Sorry.
  

And finally, serendipity has just brought me back to this fondly remembered but long-lost Cthulhu religious tract. What a perfect way to end your Sunday, eh?

Another Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: Someday My Prince Will Come

SPOILER ALERT: This blog entry discusses critical plot points of a story that relies on surprise more than most of my stories tend to do. I wouldn't suggest reading it before you've read the story in question. But if you have....

Have you figured it out yet? The characters I was writing about in the snippet of personal fantasy posted last week are Queen Catherine and, well, basically me from Someday My Prince Will Come. Sure, I gave the thrall a different name for the EMCSA story, but who's kidding whom? It was me. It's always me. ;-)

Both story and snippet came from the same early period of my exploring lesbian MC. My first "official" object of lesbian lust was Catherine Zeta-Jones, who had yet to marry an old fart, have kids, and devolve into a winsome chick flicker. When I think about "Queen" Catherine, I'm thinking about the sinuous, flashing-eyed beauty I remember from Entrapment or The Mask of Zorro or even Chicago. But sadly, CZJ learned nothing from Angelina Jolie: you can be married and have kids and still set film stock on fire. Speaking of which, have you all seen Wanted? Mmmmmm. :-)

Anyway, back to the story. I came up with a handful of pseudo-realistic MC scenarios for me and Catherine (But sorry, no more private snippets - the rest are a little too private...not to mention unpolished). "Someday" started out that way and was fleshed out in part by my discovery, while searching for appropriate clothes in which to attire my characters, of a real-life Pervadise Island called Kink in the Caribbean (Note: the site now advertises far more than just the one island, but the island is still in there...somewhere).

I'd already latched onto the rejected boyfriend/would-be-hero theme, and it was easy to fit that into the story via the services of a couple of purely imaginary gay male friends. Not that I don't have real gay male friends, just not any that I think would appreciate being written into a story like "Someday." ;-P

I do love gay men, though; in fact, the most beautiful, passionate kiss I've ever seen on film was between two extremely attractive young males. The movie itself isn't a gay film; it's a road trip flick that takes a surprising turn at the climax, so I'll put the title in spoiler text between brackets - just highlight to read: [Y Tu Mama Tambien]. Anyway, it's an excellent film from start to finish, and I'd recommend it highly even if not for the incredible three-way that includes that kiss. Just be sure, if you want to see it for yourself, that you get the unrated version. The R-rated cut deletes almost the entire scene - including the kiss, which by itself, isn't even censor-worthy unless you're a homophobic old goat.

But here I go digressing again. Anyway, there's not much left to tell you about except the trouble I had trying to find out whether the official title of the song I chose as my title began "Someday" or "Some Day." Internet usage seemed pretty evenly divided between the two, and even the ex-English teacher in me couldn't figure it out. But it was too perfect a title to pass up, so in the end I basically flipped a mental coin. And there you go: "Someday My Prince Will Come."

Oh, and just a little FWIW: If you like seeing the "Hero Rides to the Rescue" meme turned hilariously on its head, you'll love Tabico's Electric Thimble Theater. It's one of my all-time favorite stories on the EMCSA.

My Coming-Out Story

This will probably be the most personal entry I ever write for this blog, so let me make two things clear right up front: 1) I will not be revealing anything here that could clue anyone in to my real-life identity, and 2) This is not a case of my closet exhibitionist coming out to play; I'm writing this entry because it might be of some help to someone in a similar situation to mine. This world makes it very, very hard to be a sexual minority; we all need to support each other as best we can. That being said....

As I've mentioned before, I didn't discover I was a lesbian until I was 31 years old. In a way that was a blessing, because high school was hellish enough for me without that added weight on my shoulders. But frankly, I don't see how I could have processed the truth at that stage of my life anyway. I was brought up in a fundamentalist household and always felt strongly pressured to be as good/obedient/perfect as possible (which is probably a big reason I'm so into MC, but that's another story). Most of the fundamentalism came from my father, who dropped out of the picture before I hit my teens; after that, my religious world gradually started to open up, but I was still trying hard to be a good little fundamentalist well into my early 20's, and good little fundamentalists just weren't gay - or so I thought at the time. I've since encountered several.

Anyway, I sailed through my college years and early twenties on a tide of blissful ignorance, always looking for Mr. Right and never finding him - and always being amazed at how quickly my friends gave in to sexual pressure when I wasn't even seriously tempted. Eventually I began to wonder if I was a) not psychologically ready for a mate, and/or b) just plain frigid.

Meanwhile, the older I got, the more I began to question the most basic tenet of fundamentalism: that the Bible is inerrant. A big reason for the questioning was that I was coming into a closer relationship with a gay relative and was trying to understand and not be judgmental; but an even bigger reason was, the more I began to think for myself, the more my heart and mind both told me inerrancy just didn't make sense. Heck, the New Testament actually says - twice - "Slaves, obey your masters."* Tell that to the people who say you're going to hell because the Bible says so!

Eventually I gave up on fundamentalism and learned something the fundamentalists had always hidden from me: there's a very large segment of Christianity (and of other religions, I'm sure) that has accepted homosexuality as a product of biology rather than of sin.

Then came the big moment, a few years further down the road. I was at a very spiritual place in my life, both mentally and physically. In fact, I was actually praying in a chapel balcony when it just dropped on me out of nowhere, like a brick from heaven: I was no more or less attracted to women than I was to men. I wasn't straight.

My first thought was that I must be bisexual, since I did enjoy looking at men and had had crushes on so many of them. And believe me, thinking I was bisexual was frightening enough. I spent the entire next morning expecting to lust after every single person who crossed my path. I didn't, of course, and eventually I began to relax a little.

Then I found a few GLBT acquaintances to talk with, and at last a wise (and hilariously blunt) older friend asked me, "Well, do you like dicks?" That was the second brick. Once it hit me, I saw the truth I'd been avoiding all those years: sure, I liked guys. A lot. From the waist up. But I never got off on the idea of sex with a man, whereas the first time I imagined myself pleasuring a woman...well, let's just say it was a real eye opening experience. Then eventually I had my first lesbian kiss, and that sealed the deal. I finally knew, after all those years, what things were supposed to feel like. Oh, and as for my worrying about being frigid? Not a worry any longer. ;-)

And that's it in a nutshell. I had to leave fundamentalism behind before I could embrace my orientation, but I haven't left my faith behind; I've just become a lot more liberal in it. On the other hand, I do know several GLBT's who've managed to retain a rigid theology and still feel all right about themselves, so it can be done. Here's a very interesting documentary that speaks to that issue from a Jewish standpoint.

In closing, I'd like to offer myself as a resource to anyone wrestling with issues of sexuality and spirituality. My knowledge of the subject is fairly extensive, and I can promise you complete confidentiality, total compassion and open-mindedness, and not a jot of evangelism. Having come out of the background I did, I feel nothing but sympathy for people who find their faith pitted against their essential natures. I want to help in any way I can. So if you need someone to talk to, just e-mail me. I'll be glad to listen and not judge.

*Ephesians 6:5 and Colossians 3:22

Another Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: "Raggedy Anne" and "Raggedy Andy"

Well, folks, I've been promising you a peek behind the black-button eyes of Raggedy Anne for awhile now, and I think it's time I delivered.

Honestly, I consider this one of my weakest stories. Its roots are showing. "Raggedy Anne" coalesced around my very first lesbian MC fantasy, which I initially wrote down purely for my own enjoyment. But I'd just gotten started on the EMCSA at the time, and it occurred to me that my private fantasy might have potential as an online story, so I ran it by my fellow members of the (now defunct) Sapphic Erotica Writers Guild. They gave me a few tips and a lot of encouragement, and the result is what you now see on the EMCSA. I cut down on the personal indulgence and tried to add some tension by playing up the "What will Mother say?" angle; but when I look at the story today, it still seems more like a private fantasy than a public story to me.

Still, the doll fetishists do seem to enjoy it. It's on a couple of "Reader's Picks" pages, and I've gotten some lovely comments and reviews from people like Asudem Latex and a few members of a Yahoo group called House of Living Dolls. Apparently I pushed the right buttons for somebody; and for that, I'm glad.

Anyway, this is how it all got started. I had only recently discovered I was a lesbian and had yet to do anything about it (other than freak out a bit - I'm sure some of you out there can relate), and I was still struggling with the question of whether or not indulging my MC fetish was okay. Then I had my first lesbian MC dream. The only relevant part is this: a childlike Drew Barrymore hypnotized me and licked a red diamond shape into my forehead right between my eyebrows. After that, things got stupid.

But I was really turned on by the idea of being controlled and played with like a doll. I thought that might be a healthier alternative to MC fantasizing than the crueler stuff I'd indulged in before*, so I began to work with the idea. I still remember the jolt I got the first time I imagined my eyes being replaced by flat, shiny black buttons. I'd never had a full-on orgasm until that moment.

Well, once I'd settled on the idea of Drew as a fairy child, it seemed only natural to bring in a proud, indulgent mother to congratulate her on her acquisition; and who better for the role than Michelle Pfeiffer as she appeared in A Midsummer Night's Dream?

Then I came up with the idea of the pseudo-heroic boyfriend riding to the rescue only to end up enthralled, himself. Yes, the Raggedy Andy part of the story was there from the beginning; I just didn't write it down right away.

Some of you have probably noticed that the abandoned/captured/humiliated male lover appears frequently in my stories. I think that's just my subconscious' way of dealing with the fact that I spent so many years chasing after men, only to a) be rejected by the jerks because I wouldn't put out or b) find, much to my frustration, that I couldn't feel anything for the really good ones. The things I do to the men in my stories aren't a condemnation of the gender. I like men and always have; I've just never wanted to sleep with one (That early scene with Nan and her boyfriend in Tipping the Velvet? That was me to a "T."). No, these fantasies are simply my way of rejecting heterosexuality in favor of something that suits me far better...and, okay, poking fun at the outdated macho mindset in the process. Anyway, as for Matt in "Raggedy Andy," he's basically Matt LeBlanc.

*Of course, "Raggedy Anne" did end up being rather cruel in the end, didn't it? But I promise it didn't start out that way.

Another Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: Mirrored in Your Eyes

SPOILER ALERT: Please don't read this blog entry until after you've finished the story. I'm going to discuss some important plot points here.

Okay, still with me? Well, "Mirrored in Your Eyes," as I mentioned several blog entries ago, is yet another of my dreams-turned-stories. This dream had a bit more plot to it than most of mine do, and I've stayed fairly true to that plot as I've fleshed it out into a story. Here's the gist of the dream, minus the bits where my conscious struggled with my unconscious mind over how things should go:

I was at a school, staring into a mirrored wall and wishing I could be MC'ed. Suddenly my pupils expanded and I spun off down the hall, marching toward some unknown, programmed destination. I was wearing a schoolgirl's plaid miniskirt with latex suspenders and nothing else. Soon I heard a piano playing, and I followed the music into a room with a bunch of schoolkids and a teacher or two, all of whom had gathered around a girl playing the piano. She looked just as I describe Marina in the story. The whole room fell back in alarm when I entered because they knew why I was there: to capture one of them and make him or her like me. The girl pulled out a stun gun and tried to shoot me, but I shot her first, then carried her off down the hall in a wheelbarrow. Eventually I came to the office, where the administrators strapped the girl to a table. I knew now that I would help pleasure her into slavery and afterwards be released, myself. Then I'd get to choose whether I wanted to be a Domme or a sub for life. The dream faded out at that point; but somewhere later in the night, still in a dreamlike state, I realized that not only did I want to be a sub, but I wanted that particular girl to be my Domme.

Karen is mostly me, with a few red herrings and a couple of in-jokes added for flavor. Her thoughts and actions are pretty much what I'd expect mine to be if I lived in a world like hers. Marina isn't based on anyone in particular (and to reiterate, I didn't borrow her first name from Marina St. Mark; I got if from a file at work), but I really do like her physical type. Fortunately, I have three adorable young coworkers of varying ethnicities who more or less fit the bill. No doubt they were one inspiration for my dream.

The corset karen wears in an early scene really exists; you can see it for yourself here. Isn't it gorgeous? I so want one. ;-) Marina's gown in that same scene is a confabulation of a lot of different costumes I've seen over the years. I suppose Moulin Rouge was probably the biggest inspiration there.

Sappho came late to the party, but was most welcome. I was thinking of ways to flesh out Marina and karen's relationship and decided that some poetry from the Mother of all Lesbians might be nice, so I googled her and was amazed to find several pieces that fit just perfectly into my story. If you're interested in reading more of Sappho's work, there are plenty of websites available; but I used this one and this one.

Marina's brainwashing scene was, in large part, scavenged from one of my oldest MC fantasies of all. I think I was about 11 when I first came up with the basic scenario of the girl strapped to the table, the will-wiping drug, the shrinking and expanding irises that signified her struggle, and the eventual turning of her eyes to silver. Of course, the three mocking Dommes were one mocking Dom back then; but the biggest difference was that in my old fantasy, the girl was faking her brainwashing with the help of the doctor (also just pretending to be brainwashed) and some Bene Gesserit-like body-control techniques. Do you sense that I was a bit conflicted over my fetish back then? Well, I think I've got that sorted out now. ;-)

And so on to the ending....I bet you were expecting something a little darker from me, eh? In fact, I actually counted on it to heighten the drama. Hey, if I wasn't notorious for nasty endings, you might never have had any doubts about whether or not Karen would get her Domme. I do hope, though, that I played up the mystery enough to keep new readers guessing. Anyway, as I've said before on the EMCSA and elsewhere, I do have my 'mantic side; and I felt such strong emotion for the olive-skinned girl from my dream that I couldn't have ended my story any other way.

Don't get too used to the nice thrall, though. My Muse hands me a semi-traditional happy ending every once in awhile, but Her gifts are much more likely to come bound in black.

My First Interview

Just a quick note to say that my fellow EMCSA writer sara castle was kind enough to make me the guinea pig in her newest experiment at the MC Garden, "On the 'Good' Doctor's Couch." This is the first in a planned series of interviews with various EMCSA writers, so be on the lookout for more in the coming weeks or months. In the meantime, here's my interview. Note that replies to this post are in a separate thread, linked at the bottom of the page.

Thanks again, sara. I really enjoyed the experience.

Your Third Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: A Tenpack of Trixies

This time I'm going to give you a bit more background on A Tenpack of Trixies. In the introduction to that story, I mentioned that it all started with a dream in which I was the first in a line of identical slavegirls, walking hand-in-hand, pressed tightly together, as the Trixies are in the opening scene of my story (and as the Stepford Cuckoos almost are in this pic I posted once before). There wasn't much more to the dream than that; I had to craft the rest of the story the hard way, with my conscious mind.

But there is another piece to the puzzle which I've only revealed to a couple of people before now. Not often, but occasionally, I model certain characters on real-life actors and actresses. For instance, I've already told you that John Dominic in What Do You Give the Man Who Has Everything? is really Jude Law; and somewhere down the line I'll tell you about Penelope and Daphne in Raggedy Anne (Here I go, teasing you again. Sorry, I just can't help myself. ;-)).

But maybe you've guessed whom Nicole and Naomi are based on already. After all, I didn't even change their first names or their physical appearances. And Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts are famously...chummy...in real life, as this site will attest. I'll just give you a few thumbnails of some of the tastiest pics here; if you want the larger versions (in some cases, much larger), just follow the link. Trust me, it's worth the trip. ;-)

My Secret Identity

All those superheroes you see in movies and read about in comic books, the ones who have so much angst about leading a double life? Well, I think I know how they feel. Here I am, a notorious writer of the kinkiest sort of lesbian fetish porn, yet in real life I come across more like a human-sized hobbit. I even look like a hobbit, if you subtract a few inches and add some hairy feet. I love eating and laughter and avoid risk whenever possible. I'm the kind of person people feel embarrassed to curse around. My boss calls me "darlin'" - and not in a sexual way. I go to church (a very liberal one with a mostly gay congregation) and take my faith very seriously.

But again, here I am, a notorious writer of the kinkiest sort of lesbian fetish porn.

Only four people know me in both my identities: a former girlfriend who quickly got squicked out by my writing; the love of my life, who thinks my stories are hot as hell; and two longtime e-mail friends with kinks of their own. But sometimes it's hard not exposing my secret to anyone else. Oh, I cover my tracks pretty thoroughly on my computer; the problem is, sometimes I just find myself wanting to tell someone. A male coworker who knows I'm gay will point out a pretty woman and ask what I think of her, and I'll have to bite my tongue to keep from saying, "Oh, she's cute enough, but she's no Susan Wayland." Or I'll be watching a movie with a friend or family member, and an MC element will creep into the plot, and I'll suddenly feel stark-naked exposed even though I'm careful not to move a muscle. Or someone will curse in front of me and then apologize, or gasp when I let slip a "damn"; and I'll stifle a giggle as I think, "If they only knew how I talk in my stories."

For years I've thought of myself as a closet exhibitionist. The fact is, I want people to know the truth about me, even as I dread their finding out. I'm so conflicted that I've even hidden variations of my real name in a couple of my stories (And no, I'm not going to tell you which ones).

Who's Peter Parker's therapist? I need to look him or her up.

Free Fetish Stuff

I hate to pay for my fetish fix, and I'm sure you do, too. So as promised, here's my post on some of the sources I've found for quality free material. If anyone else has anything to add, feel free to post a comment. :-)

Deviant Art
Let's start with Deviant Art. I've mentioned it before, but it bears repeating. You have to know what you're looking for there; otherwise, you end up wading through a lot of crap. But try doing a search on any of the big name fetish models, and you'll come up with a ton of great images. Look to your right for links directly to some of my favorite model and photographer pages. NOTE: you do have to register if you want to see the adult material, but you don't have to give much info at all; and of course, you can always make something up. You didn't hear that from me. ;-)

Specific Models
Ulorin Vex's website is still free as of this writing, and I've recently found another cute young fetish model calling herself (stifles giggle) Sister Sinister with a free website. She's a bit pretentious, but very attractive. Her galleries start here. Then there's Aradia Ador's site, La Petite Coquette. I've only just now discovered her, but I certainly like what I see. Lastly, here's a very definitely unofficial Masuimi Max gallery with a nice variety of pics.

One Model Place
One Model Place has a bunch of Darenzia photos, as well as some much shorter pages for a number of other fetish models; but I'm not linking to their pages here because they're hardly worth visiting. Also, the site's search function doesn't work properly. Your best bet if you're looking for someone in particular is to Google "onemodelplace" and the model's name.


Model Mayhem
Model Mayhem has free pages of pics for many fetish artists, including Kumi Monster, Hollywood Geisha, Scar, Pia Kaamos,Slinka, and Darenzia - and those are just the ones I've found so far; one link leads to another, and you could go on forever. Oh, and they also feature various photographers and fashion designers, too. HINT: If you see an "n/a" on a gallery page where a thumbnail should be and you're curious to see what you're missing, just click on the thumbnail before or after the "n/a" and then use the "prev" or "next" link.

Alter Ego
Alter Ego has extensive galleries for a number of top fetish models - as well as a number of fetish models you've never heard of. You can look at just so many pics before you have to register, and then you're asked to give a lot of personal information; but again, you can just make something up. And when they ask you for a picture, just throw them any old JPG of anything - they don't really check in spite of what they say; I uploaded my usual Sorayama gynoid avatar, and they've never called me on it. Anyway, here's the link to the gallery list.

Fashion Sites
Latex designer sites are another good place to find free pics, and many of them use people like Bianca, Kumi and Darenzia to model their designs. Here are some of my favorites: Ego Assassin, Fierce Couture, Fraulein Ehrhardt, HW Design, Jane Doe Latex, Vex Clothing, and of course the justly famous Marquis.

Photographers
Some fetish photographers also have free sites, like Gil Perron (one here and another one here) and Martin Perreault. Maxime Avet has a website that's not working properly at the moment (here, if you want to try anyway), but he also has a page on Model Mayhem here. DVS has a page on Model Mayhem, too, as well as an independent website here which has many more pics - and lots of other stuff, as well. Viva Van Story has just opened for business with this website, which should appeal to fetishists of several different stripes. Finally, Hypnox has a whole lot of stuff that's very definitely not to my taste (though it might be to yours), but he does have a few "ohhhh woooowwwww" pics like this one, so I felt he was worth recommending.

Argh
Finally, there's Free Ones. I almost hate to recommend this site because it has all the ambience of Beavis and Butthead's gym locker, but it really is a great source for hundreds of free pics of pretty much anyone you can name: fetish models, porn stars, celebrities. I'll save you at least a little bit of ickiness by linking you directly to the pages of some of my favorite models: Ancilla Tilia, Bianca Beauchamp, Darenzia, Kumi Monster, Masuimi Max, and Susan Wayland.

*dusts hands* Okay, now that that's out of the way (and believe me, I spent a good two weeks putting it all together), it's back to story writing. I had the most amazing MC dream a few weeks ago, and my Muse is now blowing seductively in my ear. I'll keep trying to blog at least once a week until the story is done, but if you don't hear from me for awhile, you'll know what's happening.

Another Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: Spellbound

I think it's about time I talked about my first foray into writing for the EMCSA, Spellbound. When I wrote this one, I was still pretty new at being a lesbian and even newer at the world of online erotica; and though even today I think it's one of my best stories, my inexperience does show through in a few places. Still, that story uncorked nearly three decades' worth of private fantasies, so it's no wonder it packs a punch.

When I sent it in, though, I had absolutely no idea how it would be received. There didn't seem to be any other stories like mine on the EMCSA. I mean, really: fairies as mind controllers? Those flitty little winged creatures who like to perch on flowers? I didn't know if anyone else would see the eroticism in them, or if they'd all find the story a) artsy-fartsy or b) just plain silly. I was extremely pleased and relieved when several people complimented me on the old MC Forum and by e-mail.

The story itself has complicated roots, the earliest being a scene in a 1980's horror movie called The Believers. The movie was about a voodoo-like cult whose members sacrificed their firstborn children for some reason I can't quite remember and were trying to get Martin Sheen to do the same. The cult leader was a spooky-looking young African guy whose eyes turned white when he used his mystical powers (I was turned on by that look even then). Anyway, there was a single MC scene somewhere in the middle of the movie. It's been a long time and I'm probably misremembering it, but this is what I recall. The heroine, played by Helen Shaver, is in the middle of a ring of cult members with the Big Bad Guy in the center. There's music - probably drums - and he starts to dance and do his eye thing while focusing intently on her. Helen begins to blink and sway, falling under his spell (To my shame, I can't remember whether her eyes roll up, too, or whether she just looks dazed). Unfortunately, they get interrupted before we find out what the bad guy had planned for her, but it was a hot scene while it lasted.

Well, that was the earliest root of "Spellbound." Later I fantasized privately about African witch doctors and snakes and things like that. Callidus understands the attraction there.

Then I realized I was gay and re-imagined the MC'er as a woman, and then I began to re-think the method of MC in the fantasy to make it even hotter. I tend to avoid real-life forms of MC like hypnosis in my stories because I don't think the depth of control I enjoy can be achieved without an element of the supernatural or advanced technology. This particular fantasy had always relied on the former, and I have read a few novels through the years where fairies or elves came across as erotic and powerful; so who better to be my domme than Titania, Queen of the Fairies? And how better to picture her than this? (Okay, so that's actually a picture of Luthien from The Silmarillion, but it did inspire me in writing "Spellbound.")

Yes, you've found me out: I'm a secret Tolkien geek. But just look what I've done with the Professor's handiwork!

A Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: What Do You Give the Man Who Has Everything?

Okay, I've changed my mind about which of my stories I want to talk about first. Since I mentioned in my last entry that I'd written an mdom story once upon a time and said I'd explain later on, I've decided to just go ahead and start by telling you how What Do You Give the Man Who Has Everything? came to be.

The fact is that while I first started fantasizing about mind control around age seven, I didn't realize I was gay until age 31, so all my earliest fantasies involved men. I didn't get nearly the jolt from them that I got the first time I tried a domme instead of a dom, but they did give me a pleasant little quiver; and I've adapted a handful of them into EMCSA stories. "What Do You Give" is the most fully developed of those early fantasies; and since it had taken up such a big chunk of my headspace for so many years, it just didn't feel right to me to change an element as essential as the controller's gender.

However, much of the mdom I've seen smacks of chauvinism and/or misogyny, and I wanted to avoid that in my story, so I very intentionally made the MC'er bisexual. And, since I have always had crushes on male actors (one big reason it took me 31 years to figure out I was gay), I cast one of my current favorites, an Englishman who has no qualms about playing gay or bisexual, in the lead role. So here's the big secret, a reward for the few but proud who read my blog: John Dominic is actually Jude Law.

"Queen Bee Becomes a Drone"

Well, I've just sent a new story off to Simon Bar Sinister, owner of the excellent Erotic Mind Control Story Archive. Unless he's taking an unannounced vacation, he'll probably post it Sunday, so be on the lookout. This one is inspired by my latex/rubber fetish as much as my mind control fetish.

It started, as my stories often do, with a dream. Two Internet fetish divas were having fun with hypno-sex until a powerful domme turned their games against them and made them her slaves. I loved the idea, but after mulling it over, I decided that it was more of a trilby else kind of story than a thrall kind of story, so I rethought it. Now it's about Bianca Beauchamp turning into Kumi Monster.

Okay, no, not exactly. I'd get the pants sued off me if I wrote that. It's about a fetish diva somewhat reminiscent of BB being taught how to really play sub, as KM does so well. See, here's what I'm talking about. The top two shots are Bianca; the bottom two are Kumi. What do you think?






I was also inspired by the look of the models on the High Gloss Dolls website, especially this page; and the "bee girl" scene at the end is both a tip of the hat to Tabico and an attempt to find a story to fit this Sorayama pic: