When I was a kid (back in the olden days when everyone had to walk ten miles to school - uphill, both ways, in the snow) I lived in a small, narrow-minded Southern town where I always felt like an outsider even without knowing I was a lesbian. I loved science fiction and fantasy - and Dungeons and Dragons, which I could never find a group to play with. The only other person I knew who was interested in the game bragged about himself and his buddies making up "Jason Voorhees monsters" and things like that, but he politely declined my request to join in on the fun. I guess I was either too girly or too goody-goody for him, or possibly both. Anyway, I finally bought my own game and roped in a few half-hearted friends to give it a try. I brought them to the door of the dungeon and told them it was locked, upon which they spent a good ten minutes arguing about what to do (Yes, they did have a thief) before finally deciding to burn the door down. That tells you all you need to know about that little experiment.Computers were just becoming commonplace when I entered college, but I wasn't much interested because I was still all about books and writing, my only escapes from a boring, whitebread life in which I never really felt like I belonged. I remained uninterested in computers until a night somewhere in the mid-nineties, when I asked a friend to introduce me to the Internet. At first he showed me sites dealing with all the usual, boring kinds of stuff I hated about real life; but eventually he thought to teach me about Yahoo (There was no Google then), and that led to the discovery of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to Star Trek," my first indication that there was a wider world of people like me out there, and I could finally reach them. (BTW, that parody is still online after all these years, if you're curious: Part 1, Part 2.)
It literally changed my life. Now, at last, I have friends I can be myself with, friends with whom I can talk about the things that really interest me instead of pretending to be interested in the things "normal" people always go on about. The fact that these friends are in different states or different countries or even on different continents just makes it that much more exciting. Even after all these years, I still get a geeky little thrill from the fact that I can talk to someone in the UK or Brazil or New Zealand. Just seeing their different turns of phrases or different spellings is a constant reminder that I'm communicating with people who live on the other side of the freaking planet. And when I finally get to meet them (as I've done with quite a number of friends in my other Internet life), there's such a rush of warmth and excitement and recognition, with none of the awkwardness that characterizes much of my dealings with the people I interact with in daily life. It's just amazing.I know the Internet is a double-edged sword. It can be used to disseminate hate and misinformation just as easily as it can bring people together. But overall, I see it as a vastly positive force in the world. Just think: if I'd had access to the 'net as a kid, I wouldn't have spent so many years feeling like an outcast weirdo. I might not have been suicidally depressed as a teenager. I might have learned a couple of decades earlier that sexual minorities are just regular people who deserve the same rights and respect as everyone else. Hell, I might have learned I was a sexual minority a couple of decades earlier.
Growing up when I did, where I did, I was only given one way to see the world. Kids growing up today in that very same town (which honestly hasn't changed much in 20+ years) aren't limited to that small town like I was. If they're SF/fantasy geeks, they can find hundreds of like-minded friends online - and play those role-playing games as often as they want, with as many people as they want. If they're sexual minorities and being persecuted in real life, they can find support and encouragement online from people all over the planet. If they question the religious beliefs they've been brought up with, they can explore alternatives and ask the questions they don't dare ask in real life. Or even if they aren't sexual minorities or questioning their faith themselves, their online involvement will expose them to people who are; and in the long run, I believe that will lead to greater understanding and tolerance for all of us.
4 comments:
It does tell me all I need to know about that little experiment--notably, that you had the makings of an awesome D&D group! :) Obviously, the ten minutes of arguing is something you want to work to cut down; one of the key elements of fun in a gaming session is keeping things moving. But "burn the door down"? Classic lateral thinking in a crisis situation, the hallmark of a good player. You can't teach stuff like that. :)
(We had one session where so many doors were booby-trapped that by the end, we were ripping doors off their hinges and using them as improvised battering rams to take out the next door. Good times, good times.)
About the D&D group arguing for 10 minutes, I have only one thing to say: wandering damage.
Note: NOT a "wandering monster"...wandering DAMAGE. It's attracted by stupidity.
Until the internet came along, I lived for decades assuming I was the only person with a hypnosis fetish. From my earliest days I remember vividly daydreaming about being hypnotized and controlled by beautiful, exotically made-up women. When I finally discovered that there were many other men (and women let me hasten to add) with this fantasy, I felt somewhat vindicated! Great, great blog, thank you!
You're a girl after my own heart, in a lot of ways. Too bad I discovered this blog so many years later, but I'm glad I eventually found it.
Anyway, I love D&D. Your group sounds like the kind of people I enjoy playing with. Too bad it didn't go so well.
But yeah, the webernetz have been a blessing to me as well. I'm not sure if I'm fortunate to not understand Twitter, and Facebook, and memes, (I get how they work conceptually, I just don't get why people find them appealing), but the internet has pretty much gotten me where I am today, working as a software quality assurance tester. Without computers and the internet, I have no idea where I'd be, but it sure wouldn't be here.
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