Another Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: "Raggedy Anne" and "Raggedy Andy"

Well, folks, I've been promising you a peek behind the black-button eyes of Raggedy Anne for awhile now, and I think it's time I delivered.

Honestly, I consider this one of my weakest stories. Its roots are showing. "Raggedy Anne" coalesced around my very first lesbian MC fantasy, which I initially wrote down purely for my own enjoyment. But I'd just gotten started on the EMCSA at the time, and it occurred to me that my private fantasy might have potential as an online story, so I ran it by my fellow members of the (now defunct) Sapphic Erotica Writers Guild. They gave me a few tips and a lot of encouragement, and the result is what you now see on the EMCSA. I cut down on the personal indulgence and tried to add some tension by playing up the "What will Mother say?" angle; but when I look at the story today, it still seems more like a private fantasy than a public story to me.

Still, the doll fetishists do seem to enjoy it. It's on a couple of "Reader's Picks" pages, and I've gotten some lovely comments and reviews from people like Asudem Latex and a few members of a Yahoo group called House of Living Dolls. Apparently I pushed the right buttons for somebody; and for that, I'm glad.

Anyway, this is how it all got started. I had only recently discovered I was a lesbian and had yet to do anything about it (other than freak out a bit - I'm sure some of you out there can relate), and I was still struggling with the question of whether or not indulging my MC fetish was okay. Then I had my first lesbian MC dream. The only relevant part is this: a childlike Drew Barrymore hypnotized me and licked a red diamond shape into my forehead right between my eyebrows. After that, things got stupid.

But I was really turned on by the idea of being controlled and played with like a doll. I thought that might be a healthier alternative to MC fantasizing than the crueler stuff I'd indulged in before*, so I began to work with the idea. I still remember the jolt I got the first time I imagined my eyes being replaced by flat, shiny black buttons. I'd never had a full-on orgasm until that moment.

Well, once I'd settled on the idea of Drew as a fairy child, it seemed only natural to bring in a proud, indulgent mother to congratulate her on her acquisition; and who better for the role than Michelle Pfeiffer as she appeared in A Midsummer Night's Dream?

Then I came up with the idea of the pseudo-heroic boyfriend riding to the rescue only to end up enthralled, himself. Yes, the Raggedy Andy part of the story was there from the beginning; I just didn't write it down right away.

Some of you have probably noticed that the abandoned/captured/humiliated male lover appears frequently in my stories. I think that's just my subconscious' way of dealing with the fact that I spent so many years chasing after men, only to a) be rejected by the jerks because I wouldn't put out or b) find, much to my frustration, that I couldn't feel anything for the really good ones. The things I do to the men in my stories aren't a condemnation of the gender. I like men and always have; I've just never wanted to sleep with one (That early scene with Nan and her boyfriend in Tipping the Velvet? That was me to a "T."). No, these fantasies are simply my way of rejecting heterosexuality in favor of something that suits me far better...and, okay, poking fun at the outdated macho mindset in the process. Anyway, as for Matt in "Raggedy Andy," he's basically Matt LeBlanc.

*Of course, "Raggedy Anne" did end up being rather cruel in the end, didn't it? But I promise it didn't start out that way.