Another Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: "Raggedy Anne" and "Raggedy Andy"

Well, folks, I've been promising you a peek behind the black-button eyes of Raggedy Anne for awhile now, and I think it's time I delivered.

Honestly, I consider this one of my weakest stories. Its roots are showing. "Raggedy Anne" coalesced around my very first lesbian MC fantasy, which I initially wrote down purely for my own enjoyment. But I'd just gotten started on the EMCSA at the time, and it occurred to me that my private fantasy might have potential as an online story, so I ran it by my fellow members of the (now defunct) Sapphic Erotica Writers Guild. They gave me a few tips and a lot of encouragement, and the result is what you now see on the EMCSA. I cut down on the personal indulgence and tried to add some tension by playing up the "What will Mother say?" angle; but when I look at the story today, it still seems more like a private fantasy than a public story to me.

Still, the doll fetishists do seem to enjoy it. It's on a couple of "Reader's Picks" pages, and I've gotten some lovely comments and reviews from people like Asudem Latex and a few members of a Yahoo group called House of Living Dolls. Apparently I pushed the right buttons for somebody; and for that, I'm glad.

Anyway, this is how it all got started. I had only recently discovered I was a lesbian and had yet to do anything about it (other than freak out a bit - I'm sure some of you out there can relate), and I was still struggling with the question of whether or not indulging my MC fetish was okay. Then I had my first lesbian MC dream. The only relevant part is this: a childlike Drew Barrymore hypnotized me and licked a red diamond shape into my forehead right between my eyebrows. After that, things got stupid.

But I was really turned on by the idea of being controlled and played with like a doll. I thought that might be a healthier alternative to MC fantasizing than the crueler stuff I'd indulged in before*, so I began to work with the idea. I still remember the jolt I got the first time I imagined my eyes being replaced by flat, shiny black buttons. I'd never had a full-on orgasm until that moment.

Well, once I'd settled on the idea of Drew as a fairy child, it seemed only natural to bring in a proud, indulgent mother to congratulate her on her acquisition; and who better for the role than Michelle Pfeiffer as she appeared in A Midsummer Night's Dream?

Then I came up with the idea of the pseudo-heroic boyfriend riding to the rescue only to end up enthralled, himself. Yes, the Raggedy Andy part of the story was there from the beginning; I just didn't write it down right away.

Some of you have probably noticed that the abandoned/captured/humiliated male lover appears frequently in my stories. I think that's just my subconscious' way of dealing with the fact that I spent so many years chasing after men, only to a) be rejected by the jerks because I wouldn't put out or b) find, much to my frustration, that I couldn't feel anything for the really good ones. The things I do to the men in my stories aren't a condemnation of the gender. I like men and always have; I've just never wanted to sleep with one (That early scene with Nan and her boyfriend in Tipping the Velvet? That was me to a "T."). No, these fantasies are simply my way of rejecting heterosexuality in favor of something that suits me far better...and, okay, poking fun at the outdated macho mindset in the process. Anyway, as for Matt in "Raggedy Andy," he's basically Matt LeBlanc.

*Of course, "Raggedy Anne" did end up being rather cruel in the end, didn't it? But I promise it didn't start out that way.

I just couldn't help myself

Remember last week when I was toying with the idea of putting together my own Model Mayhem list of favorite pictures? Well, once I got the thought in my head, I just couldn't get rid of it until I did something about it; so I came up with this.

And what's more, coming up with that one page made me think of all the other cool pics I could link to, if only I didn't limit myself to Model Mayhem and that one topic. So expect more picture lists in the future.

Where Are the Women of Color?

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Another Peek Beneath the Duct Tape: Mirrored in Your Eyes

SPOILER ALERT: Please don't read this blog entry until after you've finished the story. I'm going to discuss some important plot points here.

Okay, still with me? Well, "Mirrored in Your Eyes," as I mentioned several blog entries ago, is yet another of my dreams-turned-stories. This dream had a bit more plot to it than most of mine do, and I've stayed fairly true to that plot as I've fleshed it out into a story. Here's the gist of the dream, minus the bits where my conscious struggled with my unconscious mind over how things should go:

I was at a school, staring into a mirrored wall and wishing I could be MC'ed. Suddenly my pupils expanded and I spun off down the hall, marching toward some unknown, programmed destination. I was wearing a schoolgirl's plaid miniskirt with latex suspenders and nothing else. Soon I heard a piano playing, and I followed the music into a room with a bunch of schoolkids and a teacher or two, all of whom had gathered around a girl playing the piano. She looked just as I describe Marina in the story. The whole room fell back in alarm when I entered because they knew why I was there: to capture one of them and make him or her like me. The girl pulled out a stun gun and tried to shoot me, but I shot her first, then carried her off down the hall in a wheelbarrow. Eventually I came to the office, where the administrators strapped the girl to a table. I knew now that I would help pleasure her into slavery and afterwards be released, myself. Then I'd get to choose whether I wanted to be a Domme or a sub for life. The dream faded out at that point; but somewhere later in the night, still in a dreamlike state, I realized that not only did I want to be a sub, but I wanted that particular girl to be my Domme.

Karen is mostly me, with a few red herrings and a couple of in-jokes added for flavor. Her thoughts and actions are pretty much what I'd expect mine to be if I lived in a world like hers. Marina isn't based on anyone in particular (and to reiterate, I didn't borrow her first name from Marina St. Mark; I got if from a file at work), but I really do like her physical type. Fortunately, I have three adorable young coworkers of varying ethnicities who more or less fit the bill. No doubt they were one inspiration for my dream.

The corset karen wears in an early scene really exists; you can see it for yourself here. Isn't it gorgeous? I so want one. ;-) Marina's gown in that same scene is a confabulation of a lot of different costumes I've seen over the years. I suppose Moulin Rouge was probably the biggest inspiration there.

Sappho came late to the party, but was most welcome. I was thinking of ways to flesh out Marina and karen's relationship and decided that some poetry from the Mother of all Lesbians might be nice, so I googled her and was amazed to find several pieces that fit just perfectly into my story. If you're interested in reading more of Sappho's work, there are plenty of websites available; but I used this one and this one.

Marina's brainwashing scene was, in large part, scavenged from one of my oldest MC fantasies of all. I think I was about 11 when I first came up with the basic scenario of the girl strapped to the table, the will-wiping drug, the shrinking and expanding irises that signified her struggle, and the eventual turning of her eyes to silver. Of course, the three mocking Dommes were one mocking Dom back then; but the biggest difference was that in my old fantasy, the girl was faking her brainwashing with the help of the doctor (also just pretending to be brainwashed) and some Bene Gesserit-like body-control techniques. Do you sense that I was a bit conflicted over my fetish back then? Well, I think I've got that sorted out now. ;-)

And so on to the ending....I bet you were expecting something a little darker from me, eh? In fact, I actually counted on it to heighten the drama. Hey, if I wasn't notorious for nasty endings, you might never have had any doubts about whether or not Karen would get her Domme. I do hope, though, that I played up the mystery enough to keep new readers guessing. Anyway, as I've said before on the EMCSA and elsewhere, I do have my 'mantic side; and I felt such strong emotion for the olive-skinned girl from my dream that I couldn't have ended my story any other way.

Don't get too used to the nice thrall, though. My Muse hands me a semi-traditional happy ending every once in awhile, but Her gifts are much more likely to come bound in black.

Notes Wrapped in Tentacles

Best news first: I've just e-mailed the final draft of "Mirrored in Your Eyes" to Simon, so expect to see it in the next EMCSA update. Then stop back by here for a "Peek Beneath the Duct Tape" on the story.

Next, remember that guy I mentioned who didn't seem too worried about being sued for posting all those Susan Wayland pictures? Well, guess what? His site's gone. I imagine the final straw for Sway's lawyers was when he started asking people to pay him to view the pics. Real genius, that guy...but I am going to miss his site. He had a lot of great fetish stuff to share.

Anyway, onward. I'm still exploring Model Mayhem and just recently discovered a picture that somehow managed not to make it onto the Cthulhu Lhust list, even though it very definitely belongs there. If you're into anime, manga, cute young Japanese schoolgirls, tentacles, or any combination thereof, you'll definitely want to have a look at this.

Oh, and speaking of Model Mayhem lists, I've been toying with the idea of creating one of my own, probably calling it "The Ecstasy of Submission." Those two MC-themed pics I shared with you recently would be at the top of the list, and I could easily come up with twenty or thirty others to follow them. Of course, I can't create an official Model Mayhem list because I'd have to be a member to do that; and I'm not eligible for membership since I'm not actually involved in the modeling industry. Tch, snobs. ;-) Anyway, it would be easy enough for me to post a page of thumbnails on my Yahoo/Geocities account, each linking you back to a page at Model Mayhem. I'm seriously considering the idea, but the problem is time, so don't expect anything too soon. Eventually, though. I hope.

I Just Can't Get Enough

Okay, I promise I'll do another polish on "Mirrored in Your Eyes" over the weekend and probably get it sent off to Simon next week. But in the meantime, I'm just having way too much fun exploring Model Mayhem. Like I said before in my "Free Fetish Stuff" post, one link leads to another, and you can just go on forever. I've just added a new set of links to the right-hand sidebar of this blog specifically to showcase my favorite Model Mayhem pages. Expect that list to grow in succeeding days. As for now, just let me point you toward the work of one specific photographer with a huge, varied collection both on Model Mayhem and on OneModelPlace: Jeffery Scott. He's got the goth chicks, the women warriors, the gynoids, and a whole slew of other freaky stuff that's well worth a look. Just be sure to use those "prev" and "next" links at the top of individual pictures so you don't miss the ones that don't have thumbnails. Those are usually the best of all. :-) Here's just a taste to get you started. There now, doesn't that make you want to see more?

...But Is It Really Mind Control?

I admit it: I'm a purist. There's a lot of stuff on the EMCSA that I just don't consider real mind control.

Some of it's what I call body control: the controller takes such a firm handle on the victim's erogenous zones that the victim will submit to anything in order to get her or his needs satisfied. Or else the victim finds his or her body completely controlled by an outside force and watches helplessly as s/he is made to do things s/he really doesn't want to do. Folks, it's not mind control if the mind is completely free to protest.

Then there are the "possession" stories, much rarer on the EMCSA but still out there. An outside force takes control of a victim and destroys or shunts aside the victim's personality, replacing it with his/her/its own. Again, that's just not mind control; it's replacement.

No, mind control is taking the mind that's there and altering it somehow: binding it, paralyzing it, molding its thoughts and desires like Play Dough. Mind control is putting a leash on someone's will - and, ideally, teaching them to love it.

Not that I don't occasionally enjoy stories about body control or possession; in fact, I have at least one of them on my Reader's Picks page (I've never told the author what I really think about her/his story because in the end it didn't matter; the story was still damn hot). I just don't necessarily think that kind of stuff belongs on a site called The Erotic Mind Control Story Archive.

Edited to Add: I've just been surfing Model Mayhem again - just can't say enough good things about that site. Anyway, is this, or is this not, one of the best "mindfucked" pics you've ever seen?

A Pinch of This, a Dash of That

Just a few random, disconnected notes tonight; it's been a long two weeks.

First, one friend has already asked me about my use of the name Marina in my new story, and I'm sure there are plenty more of you out there wondering, so I'll just go ahead and answer you all now. No, I didn't name the character in the story after Marina St. Mark, at least not consciously. The fact is that I see that first name on a file at work from time to time, coupled with a Hispanic last name that flows from it quite beautifully. My Marina's surname was originally going to be Italian, but I changed my mind and found another nice combination of Hispanic syllables to gift her with, as you'll see once the whole story is posted.

Speaking of which, I finished the rough draft last night and will have some time to start polishing over the weekend. It usually takes me about two weeks or so to work and rework things to my perfectionist satisfaction, so you can probably expect to see "Mirrored in Your Eyes" on the EMCSA sometime in mid-to-late July.

Now let's stir a new ingredient into the blog mix. Evil Dolly recently sent me an e-mail inviting me to read one of her stories. Okay, first, let me be very clear about this: I normally cringe at such requests, because as a former English teacher, I have very high standards when it comes to writing; yet at the same time, I hate to be cruel. So most of the time I end up taking a quick look at the first paragraph of a story; come away cringing even harder; and then respond to the writer as briefly and politely as I can. You are hereby warned: don't ask me to look at your stuff unless a) you know it's hot shit, or b) you know it needs a lot of work and are looking for advice. Anyway, Evil Dolly gave me a pleasant surprise by delivering a really hot, well-written robot fetish story with MC undertones called "Ex Machina," which you can find here, if you're so inclined.

I haven't read anything else on Evil Dolly's site, but I do recall her sending me another piece a year or so ago which made me cringe even more at the outset, yet still left me smiling in the end. She took it upon herself to write a brief sequel to A Tenpack of Trixies. Now, please, folks, do not mess with my stuff - or if you do, for crying out loud, have the courtesy not to wave it in my face. I still shudder to think of the absolutely repulsive addition to Sucker Punch that a certain buffoon once posted on the old MC Forum. Evil Dolly did a nice job, though. I wouldn't suggest she do it again (;-)), but she got away with it that time, and actually came up with a scenario I could approve of. As for the rest of you, don't go there.

Heh, just for a second there, I felt a wee bit Dommish. ;-) Must be that story I'm working on.

Anyway, back to the shelf for a new ingredient. I owe a belated thanks to Andre Marchandise for offering up his own fetish photography site for viewing in a comment under my "Free Fetish Stuff" post. Niiice pics of Kumi Monster in lace and spikes. :-) Unfortunately, I didn't see his comment until several days after he posted it, and then I couldn't find an e-mail address to send him a thank-you. So here you go, Andre: merci beaucoup, and may your site find much business.

And now for the icing on the cake. I've just stopped by the Hypnopics Collective to find that Tabico has posted some scrumptious new photomanips. I'd link you directly to her page, but URL's on the Collective have a strange way of migrating, so I'll just let you find your own way to her album. Don't worry; I'm sure you'll have fun getting there.