What it's really like

Before I got involved in the online fetish community, I had a certain impression of what its members would be like: a bunch of drooling perverts who had no interests in life except wanking off. In fact, even when I posted my first story, it was with the expectation of getting replies that would make me want to vomit. I posted anyway, because by that point in my life I had to find an outlet for my fantasies; but at the same time, I steeled myself for a bunch of nastiness.

Imagine my surprise when all the e-mails I got were full of friendliness and encouragement, with nary a hur-hur in sight. In fact, after eight-plus years on the EMCSA, I've still had only one proposition (which I ignored by accident because it landed in my spam filter, then was glad I'd ignored when I discovered it several days later). It turned out that most EMC fetishists were just people. They have a kink, but they also have lives - and they're just as happy to chat about those lives as they are to chat about EMC. I've developed several strong friendships over the years with other fetishists, and when I think back to the e-mail conversations we've shared, they're mostly about things like friends, family, romance, politics, religion...and the occasional hot fetish model. ;-) EMC is just a recurring theme in the middle of everything else.

I lived the first two and a half decades of my life as a pretty judgmental person...okay, well, it's probably more accurate to say I had a giant stick up my ass. And I can't say I've completely done away with that stick. I'm a very strong "J" on the Myers-Briggs scale, so judging is as natural to me as breathing. But I've also learned a lot about people since I came out to myself and gave myself permission to indulge my fetish. Specifically, I've learned to be less frightened about what I once perceived as "other." I am "other." Everyone is "other." Sure, there are plenty of people who deserve to be feared and shut away from society, but there are even more who don't deserve it and get treated that way anyway.

I'm really glad I've learned to tell the difference.