So, what's the big deal about...

Funny how Blogger gives you space in your profile to list the things you like, but not the things you dislike. Me, I have several, including quite a few that other people seem to find strangely arousing. Sure, I get that fetishes aren't always rational; but honestly, what's the big deal about...

• Smoking: Yes, I get that cigarettes and cigars are phallic symbols, but so are lollipops. And lollipops don't make you stink, turn your teeth yellow, and give you cancer.
  
• Eyepatches: What's so sexy about the hint of hidden disfiguration? Or is it the pirate thing? C'mon, folks, you know all those scruffy, dirty men didn't have anywhere to bathe out on the open seas. Just think how they must have smelt! Yes, even Captain Jack. And don't get me started on a life without toothbrushes. EDIT: I have been reminded that Eye of Serpent's awesome MC heroine Corelle D'Amber is the one exception to the eyepatch rule. She can get away with it...but no one else can.
  
• Hot cars and motorcycles: I guess I just don't have enough testosterone for this one.
  
• Unnaturally large boobs: see below
  
• bimboization: Sorry, there's just nothing whatsoever hot about stupidity. Intelligence is much, much sexier, even when it's bound into immobility.
  
• pain and blood: In a vampire story, they can be hot - in moderation. Otherwise? Uh uh, not my thing at all... well, aside from Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel series, but even that grew too florid for my tastes after a couple of books. It's not that I'm squicked out by gore; one look at my list of favorite movies will show you that's not the case. I just don't find anything sexy about it.
  
• scat: Do I even need to explain this one? I think not.