Thursday, October 22, 2009

It was all a dream

And thank goodness.

I just woke up a few minutes ago, and I am so thankful to be back in the real world that I just had to blog about it. Last night I dreamed that a dear young relative in elementary school revealed that he and his friends had discovered my "thrall" identity (Apparently, Millennium Kids have mad hacker skilz), and it was now common knowledge around town. Then, as I was trying to talk to this relative about keeping quiet, my stepfather came into the room and revealed that he knew about it; and he proceeded to give me just the kind of lecture I've been afraid my parents would give me if they knew about my online activities.

And then, oh Lord, my mother found out.

And if that weren't enough, I went on to dream about waking up, thinking it was all a dream, and realizing it wasn't. I did this several times, until I finally deleted my blog and asked Simon to remove all my stories from the EMCSA, just hoping no one from work had found out about them yet.

I suppose this must be the flip side of closet exhibitionism: fear of being discovered for real. And I suppose I must have needed the reminder of how mortified I'd be if it happened - not to mention how my job might be endangered. I just hope my subconscious has gotten this particular fear out of its system now. Forever. I've never been so happy to wake up for real in my whole life.


Anonymous said...

This is still a dream, you haven't woken up yet.

Erin said...

I'm glad that didn't happen because I'd miss you.