My first time

So...what to say about my first personal trance with Lady Ru'etha? I have to admit that it's still a little vague to me, which is pretty funny, considering how I don't want to forget things in trance (unless temporarily in the middle of it all) and how clear the events of Wednesday morning are to me. Maybe it was the lateness of the hour, or maybe it was the act of being linked to Jukebox, who trances so deeply and easily and has no problem forgetting anything Lady Ru'etha wants him to forget. Who knows? Anyway, I've done my best to remember as much as I can, so I can share it with you all.

Let me begin by saying that now, after several days have passed, I'm glad Lady Ru'etha waited until everyone else had left except Jukebox and me. It's true that I was jonesing like crazy by that point, and it's true (as I said right there in front of Winterrose when I begged Lady Ru'etha to go ahead and drop me) that I'm a closet exhibitionist. But my first trance with her was indeed a very personal thing and was worth waiting for. Besides, I was probably able to go deeper without having to think about people I didn't know watching me. So thanks, Lady Ru'etha, for taking care of my comfort when I was too worked up to care for it myself. :-)

And now the details. Practically the moment the last guest left, she had me lie down with my head in Jukebox's lap, turned on the metronome, and gave me a selection of pocket watches to choose from. I picked a silver one with a soft finish, and I was both surprised and delighted that she was going with such classic tropes of hypnotism. Of course, I would have been just as surprised and delighted by anything else she'd chosen, but the familiarity of the metronome and pocket watch gave me a little thrill - and no doubt primed the pump a little further. And I was well primed by that point, having spent several hours watching her drop Jukebox, Reth, and Kitty. I must have been in and out of light trance several times already that night, and I knew it, but I also knew I wanted the "real thing," the deep and personal thing.

She held up the pocket watch and began to swing it gently, and I have absolutely no idea now what she said. I just know my eyes started to flicker almost instantly, and I fought to hold them open, enjoying the fight, enjoying knowing I was going to lose it, and enjoying knowing that Lady Ru'etha was enjoying it too. Finally fighting became too hard and I let my eyes do what they wanted to do. That felt so very nice. So very relaxing. So very natural.

Now, when you're deep in trance, you're so passive that it's almost impossibly hard to say or do anything on your own, even shifting to make yourself more comfortable. So Lady Ru'etha has a habit of commanding the people she hypnotizes, "Tell me something you need me to know." She started with Jukebox, and he said (at least, I think this is when he said it) that he hoped I'd enjoy my experience. Then she asked me what I needed her to know. Well, I'd known she'd be asking this and had already thought of some of the things I might want to tell her; but when the time came, I couldn't think of a single damn thing. I'd gone so deep, so quickly, that even when she commanded me, responding took more effort than I had to give. So I mumbled that I was too comfortable to talk, and she had me imagine the control room in my head and the cable running between my brain and my mouth. Then she had me temporarily disconnect them. That relieved all the obligation to talk, and for the rest of that trance (and, to a large extent, the later ones), all I really wanted to do was go "mmm hmm" and "uh huh."

Then Lady Ru'etha told me she was connecting a cable between the back of Jukebox's neck and mine, and that his trance was flowing down into me. I felt the cable very clearly, and I knew it was the perfect image for me, with my robo-kink. It didn't even occur to me until I read Jukebox's blog that the image had been as much fun for him as for me, but that makes me very happy. And you know, even today I can still feel that cable if I think about it. I wonder if he can, too. I'll bet he can.

A little later, Lady Ru'etha installed the power switch and tested it a few times; but honestly, I was so limp already that I couldn't tell much difference after she pressed it. I had no idea it would become so hotly effective the next day when I wasn't in trance.

At some point I think she must have had me sit up, though I don't clearly remember doing it. I just remember being upright (I think) when she told me that I tried to so hard to be a good girl (which I've said here and elsewhere; it's a big key to why I developed this particular fetish), and that that was okay; she gave me permission to be a good girl. And that was absolutely wonderful, because I do wrestle with this part of my personality. In real life, it's sometimes appropriate to be the good girl and sometimes inappropriate; but it takes effort for me to be assertive. Here, though, I could just give in to my deepest self. She gave me permission. And by giving permission, she assumed the right to command me - which she absolutely had, but saying it that way concretized it. I understood all that, even in the depths of trance, and thrilled to it.

There were other commands, and there were mantras, maybe even some I don't remember at all. Then Lady Ru'etha woke me and Jukebox up, not with the five-count I'd come to expect from her mp3's, but with a simple "wake" command. It amazed me that I could wake up so quickly and easily from such a deep trance with a single word. But of course, I also learned to fall that quickly and easily, too. ;-)

She tranced me several times that night, until even when I was awake, all I wanted to do was like with my head back, resting on the top of the futon, and my hands resting in her and Jukebox's hands or on their thighs. It was all just so very comfortable, so very nice, so very relaxing. I told them I didn't think I'd ever snuggled between two people like that, except with my parents when I was a kid.

Like Lady Ru'etha says, warm.