So, there's this drinking game I learned about in college...

...that you can play while watching The Lair of the White Worm. Just take a drink every time you see a phallic symbol, and you'll be completely shitfaced by the end of the film. Trust me, it makes this hugely enjoyable campfest even more enjoyable.

Seriously, folks, this is one deeply, deeply loony film. And Hugh Grant wasn't a big enough star yet to turn down the paycheck, so we even get to chug at him as he swings his sword like the foppiest of foppish heirs to an ancient Derbyshire manor house. Then there's that business with the airplane and the pencil in this dream sequence, which (sadly) isn't embeddable but is more than worth the time it'll take you to go have a look at it. So do. I'll wait. ;-)

There now, wasn't that a scream? And you'll like this next clip almost as well. I linked you to the dream sequence without offering any exposition because it's such a perfect moment of WTF that I couldn't bear to spoil it. But you really should come into the next scene with a bit of background, so here you go. Amanda Donohoe plays the, um, well, not a vampire, anyway (appearances to the contrary) at the center of the movie. Here, she's just picked up a hitchhiking boy scout and brought him inside to get warm...if not exactly dry. Poor kid's such a goober that he doesn't find anything odd about her dominatrix apparel, much less the fact that she'd come onto a pimply little twerp like him. Then again, he is a teenage boy. He's not exactly thinking with the right organ, is he? ;-) Anyway, here you go. Enjoy.

And last (unfortunately) but not least, there's this clip of some actual lesbian mind control action taking place in what I'd swear is the same grove where they filmed parts of The Princess Bride. Amanda Donohoe, of course, puts it to a much more sinister purpose. I just wish I could show you the aftermath, where she takes Eve home with her for a wee game of spot-the-virgin with a tanning bed (because, hey, this is an '80's movie) and a very scary dildo. That's the hottest scene in the movie for me, because Eve is still so deeply entranced that she barely reacts to the dildo at all. I sure would, and so would you. I know that even without knowing you, because I've seen that damn dildo.

Unfortunately, I can't find a clip of the virgin test on YouTube; so instead I'll just recommend that you rent the movie and settle in with some good friends and (optionally) a few of your favorite intoxicants for a night of laughter, horror, and oh-so-kinky sex. The MC doesn't hurt, either.